Ella | #Wattys2016 #JustWriteIt

Step by Step

As Jacqui drove her aging Ford down the winding roads that led to Ella's farm, she babbled excitedly about Max and a party that he and the other two boys had invited them to. Someone's parents were going out of town, and someone else's older brother had offered to buy a keg. It'd be the last big event before school started again — everyone was going. Although she was too absorbed in her own thoughts to pay attention to everything that Jacqui said, Ella still managed to respond on auto-pilot, laughing when she knew that Jacqui expected her to laugh, and nodding at all the right moments.

Ella rested her head against the window, staring out at the darkening sky. The rows of trees that lined the streets always seemed sinister at night, and even though she couldn't hear them over Jacqui's radio, Ella knew that the cicadas living in the foliage were singing their eerie song. She chewed mindlessly on her bottom lip, wincing when she tugged on a piece of loose skin with her teeth and discovered that it was still very much attached.

Ella had been in a strange mood ever since they'd left the mall's food court. She couldn't explain exactly what was wrong, but it felt like there was a lead weight in her stomach and it seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment. Ella knew that she had no right to be angry at Jacqui — after all, she'd been the one to lie about her age to the radio station — but she'd honestly believed that her friend would come around, that she'd hand over her driver's license with an encouraging smile and a promise to help her come up with a lie to tell Margot about where she was going.

That's what she'd hoped, but Jacqui hadn't budged — not a single inch. "You're being so immature right now," Jacqui had scolded her while comparing two blouses on a sale rack. She'd held each one up to her chest before deciding on the one that Ella liked less. "Seriously, El, I support everything you want to do in life, but I'm not going to help you run away to New York. It's crazy."

The disappointment that bubbled in Ella's chest when she heard the finality in Jacqui's words made her want to vomit, but she didn't bring it up again. After another hour of aimlessly wandering around the tiny shopping center, Ella had pretended to have a headache and told Jacqui that she wanted to go home.

Ella closed her eyes and sighed, barely noticing when Jacqui fell silent. The rocking of the car lulled Ella into a peaceful daze, and she'd almost drifted off when Jacqui cleared her throat.

"You're mad at me," Jacqui said quietly, but Ella shook her head.

She opened her eyes again. "Not at all."

"Yeah, you are."

Ella didn't respond right away, instead choosing her words carefully. "I'm not mad," she said, "I'm just... I don't know. I don't really understand why you're so opposed to me going on this trip, that's all. You know it's probably the only chance I'll get to personally meet with the schools up there before graduation."

"I know that, but—"

"But you don't want to get involved. I get it." Ella folded her arms across her chest. "It's fine."