Two Hearts

Two Hearts : Between us

The final year exams came and went without them realising. Theory & clinical practicals happened in a blur and before they knew, the results came out. They had made a casual bet and Karan won because his prediction came true. Anisha topped the final MBBS professional exam and Karan came a gracious close second. There were doctors now and their one year internship started.

Everyone had rotation in different departments but they had their Emergency posting together. For the last few weeks they had seen common ER cases that were brought in the casualty regularly, learning to handle them.

It was late in the night and both of them were attending to a case. Anisha was giving sutures for closing up the wounds sustained by a patient in a motor vehicular accident, when the ER nurse came to find them.

"Dr Karan. We need you right now."

Karan hurried out while she remained behind finishing up the few more stitches needed.

When she went to find Karan, the tension in that ER room was apparent. A 65 year old male, known case of Coronary artery disease with Congestive heart failure and now Pulmonary oedema presented in the ER with worsening symptoms of breathlessness. Anisha could see that resuscitation had been initiated. The patient was undergoing a Cardiac arrest. Everything was happening fast, each coordinated action an effort to revive the patient. Oxygen was given, cardiac monitor and defibrillator were attached. Karan was giving chest compressions, his hands pressing the patient's chest in rapid succession. The monitor was showing ventricular fibrillation. It meant the heart was beating rapidly and erratically. Using the defibrillator paddles, the ER medical officer was giving shock, external electrical current in an attempt to restore the normal heart rhythm. The nurse administered the drug epinephrine. On the way as Anisha was leaving because of another call, she saw that Karan had resumed the chest compressions again.

***
Anisha quickly finished attending to the new case. She reminded herself that she should check on Karan. Words had reached her that the patient he had attended to, had expired. Not finding him anywhere in the immediate vicinity, she went outside the ER. She remembered his grim expression and she felt suddenly worried.

It was past midnight. There were less people outside the entrance but no sign of Karan. She kept walking keeping an eye for him. She stopped abruptly and retraced her steps noticing a figure in white coat crouched low behind a parked vehicle. On realising that it was him, she called out his name.

"Karan!"

Alarmed, she rushed towards him.

"What happened? Are you all right?!" She exclaimed, on reaching him. He didn't immediately reply and Anisha could make out that he was having some difficulty in breathing. He seemed to realise that it was her and made an effort to stand up. Even in the dim light she could see that his complexion had darkened. Something was wrong with him. She needed to get help.

"I'll go find someone," she said, thinking of rushing back to the ER.

Karan finally spoke up, waving his hand dismissively, "I'm all right ..It's just a panic attack."

She saw him fishing out a medicine bottle and taking a pill for it.

"But you don't look OK," she protested.

"Don't go, Anisha. I'm fine," he again assured her and sat down leaning his back on the wall.

"Stay here," he added, looking up at her. Anisha hesitated but she could see that he had calmed down, his breathing becoming even. Believing his words, she sank down beside him. Moments passed as she quietly watched him, waiting to hear from him. She was perplexed because it was the first time she saw him in that state. Does he usually get panic episodes? Anisha couldn't deny that what had happened in the ER earlier would shaken up anyone. For them, it was the first time they were coming across situations like that.

Noticing that he appeared much better, she spoke up.

"I know that you must have been affected by what happened inside..but Karan we have to be strong and prepare ourselves mentally to deal with them. There will be many more times like this when we will come face to face with death."

Karan listened to her silently, his head hung low.

"Most importantly, you have to take care of yourself otherwise how can you take care of others." She tried to reason out feeling that he was neglecting to look after himself.

After a moment's silence, he replied looking up.

"You are right..Anisha."

"You are right," he again repeated, a far away look in his face as he looked into the night sky.

The silence seemed to stretch. Sitting there beside him with only the night between them, she felt something which she had never before. Maybe it was for the first time or maybe the feeling had always been there without her realising it. She held her breath and then she found herself slowly placing her hand over his. It could have been perhaps for only few seconds but for her it felt like eternity like time had stopped for them. Karan appeared taken aback by the gesture and he abruptly stood up, his hand slipping away from hers.

"Everyone must be looking for us..we should go back."

Karan voice didn't seemed like his own, when he spoke without glancing at her. Anisha saw him walking away. Away from her. In a daze she also stood up and followed him back to the ER, not knowing what had just happened between them.