Chapter 22

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Josh

My brother was the single, most loving soul on this planet. He would've been a good man, that boy. The choices he made, I cannot be the one to judge. He had his battles, I have mine, and we lived so codependently that when I was losing mine, he lost his too. I don't know what made a part of him die. If I did, I would've fought for him. I would've held him up and beat the demons out of him.

My brother, you must know, was not weak. He used to check for monsters under my bed. He watched horror movies when his Twilight DVDs were worn out. My brother made me feel safe, though I was the one who should've protected him more. I still remember clearly the night before he left. He said that, and I quote: "It's crazy, ain't it? You're in a hole, a pit of deep shit, and I'm so far away, my hands not long enough to haul you out. Now, don't tell me how much I sound like a girl. You hear me out, Josh. I will always love you. You hang in there. You hang in tight. If you ever forget that I will be here... standing right here for you, remember the song mom sings."

And I wasn't even awake. I was in slumber but I heard every single word. Somehow, it got to me that he was saying a goodbye I should've stopped. I should have... stopped him.

I can't thank you enough, Connor. I can't thank you enough for backing me up in Nerf wars. I can't thank you enough for buying me ten gallons of chocolate milk for Christmas two years ago. Or the time you planned out every detail of a rainbow that formed according to your calculations. You helped me pick the necklace for Annie, the font for the engraving. You read me corny poems you wrote when I was sick to make me feel better. You snuck pieces of KitKat when mom sent me to my room as punishment. You covered for me. Connor, you weren't just a brother to me. You were, you are, my best friend. And I'm sure as hell going to miss you. Now, you hang in tight, alright? I'll... I'll see you soon.

***

Annie

Connor Hutcherson was two parts ninja, seven parts angel and one part Edward Cullen. He was a tidal wave, a hurricane and an avalanche all at once. I don't know where I'm going with this but, in one word, Connor was phenomenal. The things he used to say - I'm surprised he hadn't been sent to jail at least once - would knock me off my feet and into a fit of laughter. Connor was witty, even smart, I'd give him that. Smart enough to have pranked me nine times this year, each time better than the previous.

Connor, you were the kid brother I never had. I could rave on and on about how awesome you were, especially when we hid Josh's sketch book for a week and he went ballistic, but how can I possibly not acknowledge you. To everyone in this room, you must know that he was a boy of massive dreams and even bigger hopes. He was the kid that was surely going to make it out of this town. It's stupid of me to say this now but it is the truth.

Maybe it was the anchor of the world on your shoulders. Maybe it was the setting Sun that refused to rise again in your eyes. I can't be certain. I just hope you know that you will be etched in the inner most part of heart, never forgotten. I love you, Connor. Rest now.

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A/N: Hey, everyone. Unleash your fiery dragons and launch your missiles, I totally deserve it. Sorry for keeping you waiting. I can't possibly expect some form of forgiveness, especially after I tell you this. Writing three chapters in four days will physically and emotionally kill me. I know I promised but I was way out of my head. Besides, I need to plot it to its best. Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

- A 

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