I look around my surroundings. Tick tock tick tock fills my ears. Clocks. I know times running out. I have to keep trying. I sit down and try to think again. Try to focus. Just focus. The tick tocks turn into chatter. I make out the words.
Loser. Fat. Ugly. Useless. Stupid. Crazy. Unwanted.
I try to concentrate. Time I think. Time. I have to keep my eyes close there is not enough time left.
Idiot. Worthless. B****. S***. W****.
Pain fills my chest as my body begins to shake. Concentrate. I'm so tempted to open my eyes. Concentrate. I can feel I'm almost there.
Prostitute. Dirt. Ungrateful. Waste.
I calm down and clear my mind. I begin to hear sentences.
"No wonder its cramped in her! she's taking up the whole space with her fat a**!" "she just a waste of air. A waste of skin." "Gosh no wonder she has no one!"
I gasp and open my eyes. I look at the clock. I was close. Too close. Time. The clocks begin to ring a loud ring that wouldn't shut off. The clocks morph into people.
My torturers.
They throw stuff at me. I cry. Let the tears flow down my face. One of they handed me a razor. I looked at my clear skin. The scars are reopening. The scars that used to be cuts years ago are coming back.
I add more cuts. Let the blood flow down my arm. I know time is up. I as lay there. My spirit leaves my lifeless body. My spirit vanishes. I am nothing. Never have been.
...
Never will.
