To the members it seemed like hours has passed but it’s only been 5 minutes since they’ve read the letter that Hakyeon wrote. The members stood frozen at their spot with their minds wandering about on how this could happened. How could they missed the signs the leader was giving out? The signs of the leader isolating himself from the rest of them and how he slowly stopped being the nagging and playful hyung. How could they have missed that? Regret is laid in their mind. Regret of not noticing and regret of not being there for him that very night he needed someone the most.
“We will always be together”
What happened to those words? Those words that he had said to them...was it all just meaningless words? No, of course not. Hakyeon meant every single word but right now, what Hakyeon ever want is to get away from the negative comments that are put towards him and especially towards his members. Is he running away? You can say that. Is he coming back? That, he does not know.
“We have arrived at Tonghae. We have arrived at Tonghae.” The robot voice of the train repeated.
Hakyeon carefully took a step off from the train and unto the platform of the station, with him he carried one luggage and a bag that he holds dear. Hakyeon carefully look around and was thankful that there was not a lot of people. With a mask and cap on, he slowly went inside the station to rest and get something to eat before heading off somewhere. Where is he heading? Anywhere. Away from crowded people and away from those who hated him.
“Stay strong.” Hakyeon said to no one in particular.
As for the members? You can say they are in a panic mode. How come?
“What do you mean we can’t trace him?” Taekwoon asked coldly towards the banker.
“Well sir, Mr. Cha has withdraw all of his money from his bank account and has canceled all of his credit card that he once had. Without all of those being in used, we won’t be able to trace him.”
The members bowed their head in disappointment. Hakyeon knew that his members would try to look for him and so he withdraws all of his money and cancelled all of his credit card and even cancelled his cell phone and had a new one under a different number and name through a help of a certain person.
He did not want the members to be dragged in but most importantly, he did not want them to find him. In his mind, Hakyeon believes that him being there would only hurt them especially get more hatred towards his members that really wasn’t directed to them but more towards him. He have seen enough of how the members get hurt because of him. Yes, only if he had listened. Only if he had listened to them in the first place, he could have stopped all of it but him being determined and hard-headed….this is the outcome.
Who are they? They are none other than your ssaesang fans and even worse his own company and fans.
The company that he had trusted turned their backs against him. They had favored another and had told him that Hakyeon should never had been the leader but Wonshik. They had talked about this for years but the members agreed that Hakyeon would best fit as the leader and so the company had went along with it but 2 years later, the company had thought they made the wrong choice.
The company wasn’t the most hurtful comment that Hakyeon has encountered but more towards his ssaesang fans and even his fans, on how they mostly agree that Hakyeon has taken the role of a leader for granted. On how he had taken the front stage instead of the other members. On how the other members could have done better than him. It was all too much for Hakyeon to bare. He too noticed how he slowly changed from the nagging and cheerful leader to the now cold-hearted leader.
He was tired. Tired of putting up with the facade of giving the smile, the fake smile, in front of the camera. On how he should act as the character of N every time a camera is in front of him. He could never act as himself, as Hakyeon but act as VIXX N. He had to get away from it before he truly burst and fall. Throughout the years Hakyeon has thoughts. Yes, thoughts of inflicting harm upon himself but he knew that if he do it once, others will notice. Has he thought of another way to inflict harm upon himself? Yes, many of times. The only way he can really feel relief is a relief through releasing his anguish and hurt by constantly taking antidepressants but those pills weren’t prescribed on his name but a prescription through someone’s help. The antidepressants helped for the first 2 months but then…..it stopped working.
How did he find another way of relief? Through doing a full schedule every day. Work is the only way Hakyeon can keep his mind off of things but then work became too much. He had tried finding many ways but the only solution he found was to leave.
“You should leave Hakyeon! We don’t want a leader who is full of himself!”
And leave he did. He left just like what his fans wanted him to do.
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A/N:
This chapter wasn't really the best chapter I've wrote since this was a rushed update on AFF since I was leaving for a 3 week vacation for B.A.P LOE Concert....and so this was rushed....and I have no plans on fixing the chapter since I'm too lazy to do it ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
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Letting Go
FanfictionCha Hakyeon, also known as VIXX Leader N to the rest of the world, came crumbling down. The worries and frustrations has finally been released but is his final decision right for him but most importantly for his members? Can he continue to be the l...
