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i am taking heavy breaths. my lungs are not cooperating with me. my hands are shaking while i rest them firmly on the floor of my bedroom.

tears have been steaming down my face for a while now.

its been very fun.

my heart is feeling like a hand, has a hold of it. my heart feels out of place.

and i remember seeing his face, i remember him punching me until his hands were bleeding. i remember his blue varsity jacket that he preciously wore everyday to school, and how he slung that over my shoulders, as whispering my name in my ear.

i cried to his voice running through my brain. his cracking laughter reaching every bit of my body.

the awful tingly feeling of hatred and fear is returning to my body. i can feel all of it.

and it becomes too much. i start hitting my head against the wall, i try to choke myself, scratch myself.

overcoming pain with pain.

what the fuck is wrong with me.

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