I'm Ok

Chapter 2

Viewers discretion is advised: contains violence and gore.

My fingers gripped the knife tighter as his fists hit the table again and again.

"I said do it now!" Again he hit the table.

He hit the table like the time when Mama locked him out of the house, I remembered everytime his fist made contact with the door Mama cried. The sound of the door cracking, sent me running my room. One big bang came and I climbed into the closet, he going to hurt her.

"You stupid bitch, I'll kill you." I could hear her footsteps against the floor as she ran then his right behind her.

Another door slammed shut but there was a thud then another. He's not going to kill her, he's not going to kill her. I repeated crying into my hands, I tried my best to block it out. I can hear his heavy footsteps come towards my room but he didn't open my door he just kept going.

I wiped my face and walked out my hiding spot. I made my way to their room, when I got there I was frozen. My mother layout on the floor there was blood running from her nose and lip, her left eye won't open. Glass was beneath her where she lay, her red hair cover in blood.

"Mommy?" Her only open eyes searched for me, once she finds me she cries out. The glass moves as she does, I run to help her up I don't care if I cut my feet.

She uses me and the wall to balance herself, we slowly walk to the bathroom. She slid down to the floor, I turned the faucet on and plugged the tub. Her once beautiful white summer dress turned blood red from where glass cut her. I helped her into her bath, the water turned red. I use a cup to rinse out the blood in her hair, I carefully wash her hair with cucumber shampoo. I poured water onto her head, more blood flowing from her. I could see the glass in her arms and back, I tried to remove it. Not once did she flinch or wimpier, she just sat completely still. I move her hair from back to her shoulder, there a huge purple and red bruises that cover her whole upper back. Her lower back has spots of yellow and green bruises. Before I wash her I notice there a shard of glass, I slowly and carefully pull it out. The glass is a long as my pinky finger, blood runs down her back where it once was.

I continue to wash her she doesn't wince when I touch the bruises or cuts. While I cried I never heard her scream, she doesn't anymore I think she just gives up. I can't imagine her like that, and I can't stand seeing her like this. I look to her face the blood is now dry, it looks like brown rust. I wiped away the blood and the lines of old tears. I hear heavy boots hitting the floor. No Father is home, he can't be, I stand and braces myself for yelling. The sound stops behind me, I'm too frightened to turn around but the look on mother's face. It's not fear it's relaxed, I don't understand why isn't she scared.

"Lillian what are you doing?" That Daddy's voice.

I turn around to answer him, "I was helping."

He walks towards us and picks Mama up, he carries her to their room I follow. Daddy lays her down gently as if she was a porcelain doll to afraid to break her that it's too late she already broken.

~

"Lillian, Lillian damn it kill her." He kept banging on the table. That's when I really noticed her, she lied on a table. Her hands tied above her head, there were multiple pieces of tape over her mouth, the front of her shirt ripped opened. She was bruised some new some old, my instinct is to help her.

But the blood on my hands and on this knife turns off those instincts, I should be killing her. Cutting her stomach out, slicing her throat open than burning her fingerprints and pulling out every tooth. Yes, I have to kill her then get rid of her but that's Daddy's job he says I'm not ready for that. I think it because he thinks I'm weak, he sees me as small. I must prove myself to him, that I can clean up after myself me like when Mama makes me clean up my toys. No, I can't think about her, Daddy says she makes me weak.

I got her by myself, she fought back when daddy tried to take her. I found a bottle in the ally and hit her, she is my prize, now she's my gift to Daddy. It's sad she didn't last long. I slowly pushed the knife into her flash watching it break and bleed, her screams awake apart of me. I push on the knife until the handle touches her stomach then drag the knife from the top to the bottom. Her screams continue as I take the knife out and plugged it back in. Yes, keep screaming, crying out for help. Pulling the knife out blood splashed on my face, there's more on my clothes but I only care about the blood on my face. It feels so good, I can feel the way it sticks to me. Her screams and blood are like an energy score, they feed me this is what I want and I'm never letting go.

"Lilley, she dead you can stop stabbing her." I look down on her lifeless body, I can feel the smile on my face. "You look a mess, go get cleaned up. I'll be back in thirty."

The fear of my father is gone. Replaced by something much darker.