It was five in the morning when I woke up thrashing in the bed and sweat was slowly passing down my forehead. My breath was short and my mind wasn't concentrated. I was after having a nightmare again. Everyone had nightmare and usually of their fears. Well this nightmare was my greatest fear. The man who I called my boyfriend. Steven. It was the same every time. Me breaking up with him and him reacting badly. Very badly.
I reached for the doorbell and hesitated to ring it. I was trying to talk myself into doing it but I just wasn't able to. I was about to turn around and then I saw the door open and jolted up. I wasn't sure how he knew I was there but standing in front of me was Steven. He looked down at me and smirked.
"What are you doing here?" his harsh voice demanded.
I stumbled on my words and he lost his short temper. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me, not caring whether or not he was hurting me.
"I asked you what are you doing here? I told you to never come to my house unless I told you to. You should really fucking listen to me," his cold eyes pierced into mine like daggers, "if I ever catch you at my house again without my permission I'll kill you."
He didn't sound like he was joking. Why would he joke? He never joked, especially when he threatened me.
I forced my eyes to shoot up to his. I couldn't just let him rule over me like this. He had no right. He was treating me terribly and was threatening me. So I couldn't just allow him to act this way.
I could almost feel steam coming out from my ears I was that angry. I gathered all of my confidence and at that moment I would tell him exactly how I felt.
"You know what?" I said with a tone.
"What?" he spat.
I shook my head at his ignorance. "I'm seriously finished with your shit. You are so hurtful is both your words and actions and I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of you. You've never been good to me and all you ever want to do is tell me that you're better than me. Well I'm done. Whatever it was we had? Well, it's over. I never loved you and never will. I'm not even gonna say goodbye because you don't even deserve me."
I threw his hands off of me and shoved him away. Steven looked at me with disgust.
"I don't deserve you? DId you just say that? Because, if anything. you don't deserve me. You're a little slut who I managed to make afraid of me so now I control you."
His words were like knives sticking into my throat. I couldn't speak, couldn't prove to him that it was him who had treated me like shit. I wanted to speak but my eyes filled with tears instead. His words were hurtful.
My jaw was left feeling numb and raw after he punched me. It wasn't his most powerful shot so he didn't manage to hurt me so much. But the second punch was to the stomach and he hit me so hard that I couldn't breathe. He had hit near my lungs with such a forceful punch that I could barely even focus on my own thoughts. His face was rough, eyes determined. His mouth in a crooked smirk, emjoying my pain too much. I didn't have any energy left, my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
And before I could pass out, I always woke up. It was terrifying, really. That's how I imagined the break up to go. Use me and abuse me. Nothing more. That's all I was to Steven. I was just like a filthy rag that he could throw around wherever he wanted. But that wasn't the case anymore, never was. I had had enough of his stupidity and selfishness. It was time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.
"Pick on someone your own size, babe." I cooed out to nobody.
My mum had finally come home. She shouldn't have left Charlie and I alone for two days. As much as I liked the peace and quiet and not having to hear her demanding me to tell her something I was hiding from her or do chores that had already been done, we still needed her. Well more so Charlie than myself. I could cook, clean, I had a job and I got things done. But Charlie was only fifteen and couldn't fend for himself yet. He was only a teenager. My mum walked in through the door as if she had just been out for coffee. Our roles of mother and daughter changed whenever this happened.
"Um, Mum? Where the hell were you?" I questioned with fury in my voice.
She looked confused as if she had done nothing wrong, "I was staying in Philp's-"
"Yes, you were staying there for two days and while you were there you just casually forget you had two teenage kids alone at home with nobody there to help them? I mean, don't get me wrong I am nineteen and I can 'act like a mother' but I'm Charlie's sister and you should have told us how long you were going so I could've been prepared. You should really act your age and not mine."
She was taken aback by my sharp words. I looked her right into the eye before swiftly turning away. I scuttled along the hallway and up the stairs until I heard a faint "Sorry" from my mum. I looked behind at her but then continued to travel to my room.
I awoke my nap suddenly. I was unsure of how I fell asleep as I hadn't been tired. Probably from stress and overreacting. I walked towards my dresser and pulled out a mirror. I laughed in despite of myself. My face was covered in a mixture of tears and mascara.
"And this is why I barely ever wear make up..." I mumbled to myself.
I retrieved a wipe and began removing the horrible paste society called beauty. Why would somebody ever think that just because they cover themselves in a ton of foundation and concealer doesn't mean that it will make them beautiful.
'Everyone already is beautiful... even if not in their looks but in their personalities.' I thought to myself.
I hated the fact that society was causing girls and guys to self harm and kill themselves because they tell them that they're not good enough or perfect. It was just a stupid thing to do. But I guess the only reason people did it was because they had troubles of their own and thought the only way to let their emotion out was by giving pain to others. Even though that is not right one bit.
I felt my phone vibrate and saw that I had a new message from Danny. I chewed my finger nail nervously while I waited for the message to load.
It read, 'Meet me at Pierce Lane at half six. I have a surprise for you.'
I told him I would and my mood soon started to improve. Oh, how I loved this boy, since the day I first saw him, that I had known basically all my life but barely even spoke to.
Ironic, right?
