Thanatophobia (H2OVanoss)

Introduction

It was the worst day of my life. The blood dripped from his fingers and made patterns on the floor, the light dancing in it's reflection. It was dark, almost pitch black if not for the glowing blue light.

  The light that ruined everything. The light that changed everything.

Why? We were perfect. We were happy. For once, I felt something. It was everything I had always wanted, all I could have ever hoped for.

  And just like that, it vanished.

  Just like the light from his eyes. Just like the feelings I felt. Just like when...

  No. It's too late now. Nothing can turn back time. Nothing can change the past. I just have to move on...

To forget...

I've always wondered; is it better to forget? Or to remember?

To lose my emotions and let go of my sanity? Or to let them control me?

Maybe one day I will know. Maybe one day I can make that choice.

If only I had a choice. A chance. Any hope at all.

No.

I should have surrendered before. Succumbed to the light. Bathed in it's glow. Before it could...

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

Maybe I should...
  Maybe I should kill myself...

It would be easier that way. I wouldn't have to worry anymore. I wouldn't have to watch the light glow and pulse in a rhythmic dance. I could be free.

I still have those sleeping pills. I could take the bottle. No one would know. No one would stop me. No one would care.

I can see it now. The blood. The fire. The screams. His face...

I will do anything.

J-Just stop it.

Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.

Leave me alone. Go away.

A tear runs down my face.

The blade falls from my hand.

I smile.

Finally,

it's over.