Shades of Grey || #Wattys2016

[9]

It was a struggle trying to live.

Clara first lost her husband, and now she lost her baby.

Samantha watched from the door of the guest room as Clara laid on the bed, holding close to her heart a piece of clothing that she made for her baby. She covered her mouth from crying out loud as she heard her sister sing the song their mother used to sing for them.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

She felt a large hand rest upon her shoulder and saw her fiance standing, he had a look on his face that Samantha didn't know.

"I want to understand what she's feeling, but I can't." She whispered.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

"She just needs time to cope. Losing your child and your husband, it's not something you just get over." Joseph reminded her.

You never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

"I'm terrified Joseph. What if she doesn't get out of this trance?"

"We just have to believe that she will, she's strong."

Joseph pushed the door open and entered the room, leaving Samantha where she was. He sat by her and stroked her hair.

"Hey little one," he whispered.

"Joseph," she replied as she wiped the tears away and sat up, "what's up?"

His lips curved a bit.

"How are you holding up?" He asked. "With everything?"

"I can't explain."

"Then talk to me about what you're thinking of?"

She swung her legs off the bed so she could lean her head on his shoulders.

" I didn't even have a chance to hold her in my arms. I didn't get a chance to say good bye to him. There are so many things I wish I could have done more with him and Caroline." She whispered, "I miss him so much that I can almost imagine him still being alive, holding our little girl in his arms."

She sniffed as Joseph placed an arm around her.

"Am I going crazy, for thinking that I can still feel his touch whenever I sleep?"

"No," he bluntly said, "You are grieving, you're allowed to think like that."

"I used to hate the colors, did you know that?" She informed him. "After my fourth heartbreak, I hated them. I hated the fact that I couldn't see them. My friends' were already telling me about how yellow the sun looked, or how red my shirt was. Everyday I came to school feeling frustrated at how unfair the world was."

"What happened?"

"I got hooked on this pill when I was a junior, the misfits found a drug that could show you the colors for a while."

Joseph was shocked. He hadn't known Clara that long, but it hadn't occurred to him that something like that was in her past.

"The first time I took it, I fainted. The flashing colors took me by surprise, I didn't even know it was that intense. Samantha doesn't know about it, but I'd take one every night until I graduated high school. Mom found out about the drugs one night when she came in my room unannounced."

"What did she do about it?"

"She wasn't mad. She took one look at my face and understood why I was taking them. I was nineteen, and I felt like I was seventy-two. A young woman with an old soul, she said. She took me to a rehab center, far from my home town. She told my father that I needed to explore new horizons, and my father believed her."

She looked down and started playing with her fingers.

"I got clean, I've never touch them since then. I'm so tempted to find one, just to taste the colors one more time. But I know I can't, that I shouldn't."

"I understand, I had a friend who died overdosing from those pills. He was just twenty-eight."

They sat in silence for a while, soaking her story.

"Have you ever heard the Myth of Two?" He asked suddenly.

"What's that?" She questioned.

"My grandmother told me and my cousins this story growing up. It's like folklore, but it had something to do with soul mates."

Samantha listened from the door, intrigued by the story.

"When we were created, God or whoever made us cut us in half, meaning one heart was cut into two. Why? I don't really know, but I guess he had a reason why. Everyone assumed that it was to find ourselves, before finding our other half. But there were unlucky hearts, those were the one who's had their other half leave the earth before the had even met. They were called Wanderers."

"Wanderers?"

"Their name itself gives it away, they're left wandering for a love lost."

"What happens to them then?"

"Let's call the big guy upstairs God." He decided, "God is now worried, all of his creations are supposed to have an other half. So the Wanderers are given a second chance. They are given a chance to find love with people who had their other ones taken away so abruptly."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked him. "Do you think I can find someone new?"

"I think you can."

She stood up, frustration written on her face. Her fists were shaking and her body was vibrating.

"How dare you?" She shouted at him. "I just lost him and now you're telling me that I'm going to fall in love with someone new?"

Samantha came into the room looking worried because of the sudden outburst.

"Clara, calm down." Her sister advised.

"I'm not telling you, but I'm saying that it could be possible." Joseph cleared.

"It can't be since it's just a myth."

"I know, I just told you because I know Tyler wouldn't want you alone in this world we live in."

Joseph stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards the door.

"I know Tyler would want you to love again, to experience the colors. Even if it wasn't with him."

Then he left without another word, without bothering to wait for Clara to say something else.

"I know you're hurting Clara, but Joseph is right." Samantha commented, "Tyler wouldn't want you to mourn over his death, would want you to celebrate his life."

She then paced out of the door.

"I forgot to mention that Patricia found her soul mate," She confessed before walking out the door and closing it behind her.

The anger inside her subsided, causing her to fall to the floor.

"Why did you take him away?" She asked no one, "I was better, I was happy. Why did you have to take him away?"