The Jack Hansard Series: Season One

Episode 5: Troll

"Where we going, gwas?"

"To see a witch, Ang."

The Coblyn shifted comfortably in her seat. She had dispensed with the seatbelt and sat cross-legged, flat cap clenched in her hands, staring with interest at the passing scenery. "You sick? Why you in need o' witchery?"

"We're going to do some business. Now the boot's empty I can start stocking up again."

For the past couple of days we had been driving round Shropshire with a car full of coal – courtesy of my recent dealings with the coblynau: mine-dwelling, goblin-like creatures no more than three feet tall. I'd considered the over-abundance of coal to be an out-dated, unsaleable nuisance. But it turns out the country dwellers of Shropshire love their open fires and iron agas, and a man selling sacks of cheap coal on a street corner is apparently a welcome sight. So now I had money in my pocket, and a full(ish) tank of petrol.

The one downside was that every bakery we passed, Ang insisted I go in and fetch her another pie or pasty. She had a voracious appetite for such a skinny creature and could put them away like nobody's business.

She unwrapped one of those pasties now and took a huge bite, crumbs dusting her waistcoat. I watched with a smirk as her eyes crossed.

"Wha' flavour's this?" she said, disdainfully holding the pasty at arm's length.

"Tikka Masala," I replied. "Thought you might like to try something different."

"Nasty trick, gwas."

She rolled down her window and unceremoniously chucked the pasty out of it.

"Don't waste food, Ang. That costs money, you know."

She glared at me pointedly. "You wasted that, you did. Perfectly good pasty, 'cept for your sense o' humour. Why we goin' to see this wrach, anyway?"

"Wrach?"

"Th'witch, pentwp. What's some hag got t'do wi' finding my kin?"

I stifled a groan. Not a day had passed without Ang bringing up the terms of our deal. She'd exchanged six precious bluecaps for my assistance in tracking down a group of missing coblynau. They'd left their home one day and bravely (or perhaps naively) ventured forth into the modern world, never to be seen or heard of again. And therein lay my problem: I had never even heard of coblynau before I met Ang, and I had no idea where one might begin searching for some.

"Information, Ang," I said. "Witches know many mysterious things. Could be we get our first proper lead on your missing friends."

"Aye? What would a witch be knowin' about it?"

"Well, perhaps he can track them with a spell, or something. Or maybe he's heard rumours as to their whereabouts. It's not like you've been able to tell me anything useful."

"They never told no one where they was goin'," said Ang sullenly. "Had to keep it secret, otherwise Gaffer would've had 'em stoned."

My gaze slid sideways. "No one knew you were leaving?"

"None." She stuffed the cap back on her head and crossed her arms. "Don't like the sound of spells, gwas. Nasty. S'it safe?"

"We've dealt before. He's a good guy. Name's Mark."

"Twpsyn. Shouldn't be trustin' no witch."

"They heal people, you know."

"Aye. Curse 'em, too."