A New Life (adopted by the sidemen)

Ch. 8 Galaxies In My Eyes

Lux's POV

    I had no idea where I was but the room was so dark and cold sending shivers across my body from the cold and out of fear. It was terrifyingly silent where I was making me feel so uncomfortable. "Hello?" I called out but got no response in return.

Wrapping my arms around myself to bring back some comforting warmth  I walked around warily. My eyes started to adjust to my surroundings revealing I was in a long hallway. As I continued to walk I notice the corridor became even longer but a bit brighter. The silence was shattered abruptly with a loud crash from behind me. Jumping around I see 2 child standing next to a broken vase. Looking closer I figure out that one of the children was me and the other seemed so familiar.

The children didn't seem to notice me but instead stared down at the vase and at each other. There was a loud scream and a man suddenly appeared filling me with so much fear. He was one of my first foster families. Being so he was also one of my first of many abuser. The memory came back to me once the child pointed at my younger self and the man looked down at 4 year old me with so much hatred. That day was the first time I got a beating all because the other child blamed me for the shattered vase that he broke.

Before the man even threw a punch I turned around with a hand over my mouth and tears in my eyes. Continuing down the hallway more and more horrible memories played out around me. The worst memories were the loudest. Not being able to handle it anymore I started to run down the hallway. Holding my breath the images became blurred but the sounds were still piercing my ears.

Tears formed in my eyes and I just suddenly stopped running. I looked around to see all my abusers surround me yelling insults my way. Dropping to the ground I pulled my head to my knees, covered my ears and started to sob. I felt so alone, I wanted to die. The voices grew louder and louder until they faded away into the eerie silence.

Opening my eyes I noticed I was laying on the ground in the sidemen house. I bring my hands to my eyes and rubbed away the tears that collected there. Sitting up I noticed how heavily I was breathing, shivers ran down my spine at the thought of the nightmare. Shakingly I stand up and carefully walked to the kitchen. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop crying.

Pulling open the fridge I grabbed a bottled water and chugged half of it. Wiping away the tears I take out my phone and check the time to see it's 3:45 am. Sighing I began to play a random twenty one pilots song which happened to be Lovely, quitely. Music usually helped calm my nerves. My breathing eventually went even again allowing me to breath properly. I didn't notice someone walking in until I heard the door shut quietly behind them.

Glancing over I see Harry standing there a bit dazed by sleep I presume, "Hey sorry if I walk you." I apologized causing him to shake his head.

"No no it's fine I got worried cause I heard you crying" He began and sat down on the stool I was standing near, "But before I could do anything you walked out." Nodding my head I didn't say anything, instead I took another swig of water. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

Shrugging my shoulders I nervously play with the water bottle in my hands, "I had a bad dream about some things I wanted to forget." Setting the bottle down I pull myself up onto the the counter and sit facing Harry. "I always have bad dreams so there's nothing to worry about."

Harry nodded his head understandingly but did not give up, "Yeah I know there are things everyone wants to forget about but sometimes it's good to open up to others."

Nodding my head I began to speak with a sense of freedom I've never felt before. I ranted to Harry about my childhood and foster homes. My low self esteem and constant need of validation for everything. I opened old wounds that I had half heartedly closed with a worn out sewing kit. Unraveling every seam that was once created, I bled my heart and soul to Harry.

I thought he'd get freaked out and leave. I thought any of the boys would run for the hills once they caught a slight glance into my head. But I right now I see that's not the case at all. Harry didn't run when I finally shined a light on my darkest parts. He did not show one ounce of disgust or disappointment or even anger. Harry just stared at me with so much love and understanding it confused me.

"Why aren't you running away from me?" I rubbed away my tears, "I'm so fucked in the head why do you still stay?"

Harry placed his hand on my knee and took a deep breath, "You're not fucked in the head, you just been through so much pain and suffering that you can't see what everyone else sees." His thumb rubbed soothing circles on my leg giving me something to ground myself before my anxiety took over.

"All everyone ever sees is a mentally ill attention whore who needs constant validation for every aspect of her life." I said numbly dropping my gaze to the floor.

Harry stood up and gently but firmly raised my chin to stare him in the eyes, "No, You know what I see?" He asked, "I see a brave, strong, compassionate woman who speaks so negatively about herself." He moved his hand to delicately cup my cheek, "I see someone who always tries to help everyone around her even if she's the one who needs help." Harry's eyes sparked with such a fire that I felt like I had to believe him, "and I see a gorgeous girl who fills my eyes with galaxies everytime I look at her. That's what I see."

My tongue for a moment was ensnared for a loss of words, never in my life has anyone really truly been able to make me feel special like Harry has. I reach up and place my hand over his, "harry..." I breathed out as a tear rolled down my cheek. The person I've looked up to and held a special place in my heart my whole life was making me feel as if I was for once genuinely loved.

Harry wiped the tear away with his thumb, "You grew up believing that no one would ever love you, that you'd be lonely forever. That you'd never meet someone who would make you feel like the moon was something they built for you in their tool shed." Nodding my head in response I wrapped my arms around Harry's neck for a hug. He snaked his arms around me and held me so close. "God dammit Lux I love you so much. More than sidemen family and more than a friend" He whispered into my ear sending chills down my spine.

We pulled apart after a few minutes and I was finally able to catch my voice, "You really mean that bog? You love me?" I asked unsurely.

Harry nodded, "Of course, the first day I met you I fell madly in love with you."

"Since your first video that I watched I knew you'd hold a special place in my heart." I responded with a blush.

"So uh would you maybe wanna go on a um date with me?" He asked glancing at me with pleading eyes. A huge small, that for once reached my eyes, plastered onto my face as I viciously nodded my head. Harry sighed in relief and returned the smile. "I'm gonna help you Lux, I'll be right by your side with every step you take."

"You know you can't love someone's depression away." I said.

"No you're right but I sure as hell can love you even after hell freezes over. I'll build you the moon and all the stars in the galaxies."

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