love is unexpected

14.

AN; hola sugar plums! Thank you so much for all the positive feedback and votes. It means the whole world and more you have no idea.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, because this one and the last two have been my favourite to write so far
Kellin's POV

It's 5am and never have I been more wrecked, emotionally. I was sat alone in the garden, Mikes jacket around my slim figure, protecting me from the sharp cold breeze. I had been sat here for maybe a hour. I was so worn out, both physically and emotionally. As much as I tried my body soon gave in and I collapsed on the ground, I was so tired and drained.

My whole body ached and I don't know if it was from me going on a rampage, kicking chairs, smashing bottles and hitting walls, which caused it. Or if it was because I was just tired of trying anymore. My whole life I had tried so hard. To fit in, to be loved, cared about. I lost my mother and my father. I had move schools 20 times, moved families, houses and city's. Then finally I begin to feel wanted and I felt a part of something. My heart just gets ripped out. For some reason this pain wasn't like anything I've felt before, no amount of punches from the 'school bully' could make me feel like this.

I see people on social media who have a perfect life and are still depressed, I've never understand that. Somehow I have nothing but still manage to be happy and positive as much as possible.

I heard the patio door behind me squeak, it didn't phase me though. I carried on looking up at the, being in my own world as I mesmerised the stars patterns.

"Kells" a voice finally spoke, I knew who it was instantly but had no fight left in me. That's why I stayed quiet. A figure sat beside me, making me shuffle away a bit. I had no desire to be anywhere near this person right now.

"What are you thinking about? The voice spoke again making me feel sick to my stomach. That made me think about what I was actually thinking about. Nothing. I was thinking about how amazing it would be to just not be here at all.

Vic lets out a frustrated sigh, I could feel him watching me. "Kellin, I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking, he just showed up and the next thing I know his lips are on mine. Kells please forgive me. That's the worst mistake of my life, I never wanted it. Just.. Just trust me" Vic spoke in a fast manner, he was a  rambling and stuttering mess. The guilt was practically oozing off him.

I turned my head to face him after a minute, we both looked into each others eyes. These eyes that I once adored and craved to see. I saw a shy smile creep onto Vic's lips.

"Goodnight Victor" I say coldly, and stand up walking into the house. Leaving Vic sat alone in the garden.

7am. The alarm I set last night went off, I turn it off quickly not wanting to wake anyone. Just as I was expecting I felt like death, the vile taste of alcohol was lodged in the back of my throat, and my head was spinning. I groan holding my head while I sit up. Quickly observing my room, it was a complete mess. Before the party Mike and Vic took my bed to Mikes room, so we had more space. That's why I was sleeping on the couch. As I sat up more I felt something jabbing into my ass, taking my hand I remove the object from under me, it was a box of condoms. I shudder and throw it across the room.

'Why am I up so early' you may be wondering. Well the answer is, my train is at 10am. I can't miss it. Without checking my phone this morning, which was out of my routine I got up and went to the cupboard in the hallway, that's where I found two bags, these two bags and the belongings inside have been with me for years, they never get taken out. As I'm always moving from place to place. I couldn't help but feel down, my emotions were too overwhelming last night, and now I can barely feel a thing.

After getting dressed, and brushing through my hair, I took out a notebook I had in one of my bags, it had all my songs in it. This never left my sight. I ripped a blank page out of the back and began to write.. Once finding a pen:

To Mary + John

Thank you. Thank you for treating me like a son, and loving me like I was your own. I've always felt so welcomed into your home, it's sad to say I'm not going to be able to be apart of your home anymore. I don't want you to worry too much, my birthday is in a month and I'll be 18. The foster place will give me the money I need to get my own apartment and I'll promise to stay in touch. You're the closest thing I have to parents, and I'll always be thankful of you both. Thank you again for all the love and support you provided.

Love Kellin x

I look at the letter, reading it over and over, before writing Mikes.

To Mike

I've never ha someone in my life quite like you. Out of everyone you've been the one to help and protect me. I always know I can rely on you. Even though your advice most of the time is too get drunk and get laid. No but honestly. Thank you. I'll miss you dearly.

Love Kellin X

My hand was hurting now, and I knew this next letter would be the hardest to write.

To Vic

Thank you. For showing me what love is for the first time in my life. Thank you for making me trust you. Thank you for making me fall for you. Thank you for making me realise it was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll never be so stupid to do so again. I hope to forget you, because maybe that way the pain will go away too. To me you wet everything, now I know I was just another boy for you to mess with.
Enjoy your life.

Kellin.