A Crown of Golden Leaves: A Percy Jackson Fanfiction

Caput LII: Between Savagery and Humanity

"But there are forces that don't let you turn back and undo things, because to do so would be to deny what is already in motion, to unwrite and erase passages, to shorten the arc of a story you don't own." - Salvador Plascencia

Caput LII: Between Savagery and Humanity

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DAYS later, there was a strange heaviness in the air that made Percy feel like he was walking on thin ice liable to splinter and crack. It felt like there was something lurking around each corner they turned, waiting to spring forward at the right opportunity, when their guard was low and they were most vulnerable.

It was suffocating and heavy, as if they were walking into their impending doom.

Percy wasn't quite sure if he should dismiss the ominous premonition as his paranoia and anxiety playing tricks on his mind. There was something concrete about it. Yes, in general, his instincts were as sharp as iron, but he couldn't afford to make a mistake based in paranoia and false warnings, not when it could cost them their lives.

He wanted to scream, somedays. Between the pressure and the ever-looming threat of death hanging over his head, he felt like he was grasping as straws as his sanity slowly unraveled and no answers came to them—not that he would say anything, to anyone.

He didn't want to worry them.

He had to keep his head on his shoulders and he couldn't afford for his rationality to cloud over. So, he did his best to ignore the panic that constantly lurked on the edge of his mind and, when that didn't work, he pushed it aside as best as he could.

At least he seemed to be hiding his unease well, since not even Annabeth seemed to notice that something was amiss. If she sensed that there was something weighing heavily on his mind, she most likely would badger him every time they were alone until he caved and told her about it.

Exhaling, Percy tilted his head back and took in the clouds in the sky.

Where were they going to go from here? Tarentum was definitely out of the picture, Gauls was far to the North as he didn't think Thalia would be able to take the strain of crossing the mountains, no matter how much she might protest otherwise, and Greece was too far away.

He hated this. He hated that creature who had taken his country away from him and had stolen his best friend's life. Jason didn't even have the proper funeral he deserved, since they had no body to bury and they had no time to hold a memorial. And his people... if they were loyal to him—or to Rome, at least—, then they were likely to be imprisoned or executed. But the majority of his people weren't loyal enough that they would give up their heads and their children's heads for him.

At least, he hoped they weren't that loyal. The idea of children being killed in his name, because their parents didn't keep their heads down... but no, any sane man would have taken his family and fled from the capitol, if given the chance.

If there was any plebeians alive still in the heart of Rome, after that ritual. If they were even allowed to leave the city.

Not only did he hate that creature, but he hated that the gods who had allowed this to happen, that they had done nothing to stop this from happening when they were all-powerful and all-knowing, supposedly. There was so many good men who were injured and so many innocent women and children who had their lives ripped away from them. Where had the gods been when they had needed them the most?

But in the end, he could only blame himself for not noticing the signs in time when he was supposed to protect the country, the crown, and the people. Rome was his responsibility, ultimately—his and his pater's, but his pater had anointed him as head of the armies years ago, and he had grown lax about his duties in the last few years because he thought they were at peace.