Drowning Lessons (Frerard AU)

Thirteen - Stop Being A Dick Already

My immune system was a fucked up little shit and I was lucky enough to contract something really nasty from the hospital while I was still recovering from my alcohol poisoning. Nothing about it was good or lucky, however I was at least lucky enough to have left the hospital before I came down with the symptoms of what the doctor believed was norovirus. That was a lie actually; to begin with the doctor thought it might have been traces of alcohol in my blood making my body panic. At first I just felt very ill, then I was vomiting, just continuous vomiting, there wasn't even anything in my stomach at all but I was still vomiting. That lasted for three fucking days, three days of constant vomiting, it made me so weak.

Honestly it was only a violent stomach virus but it was draining me in every possible way, my body just couldn't cope with me being ill and vomiting anymore. I was weak and dizzy and always felt faint, even if I did something as little as try to sit up. But that was just typical of my shitty immune system. What I was worried most about was missing classes, which sounded really nerdy, but I just wasn't clever at all and if there was one person in this school who needed class more than anyone else, that would be me. But I was just so lucky to have friends who so kindly kept me up to date with classes and brought me my homework. I couldn't concentrate very well at all but Gerard helped me, he was there and he just wouldn't leave.

Gerard not leaving me alone was actually not a bad thing, in fact it was very pleasant I spent three days in the school infirmary feeling worse than I ever remember having felt before and Gerard made it more bearable. I enjoyed Gerard's company, a lot. I really liked him coming to see me all the time he made me smile and laugh. I did however feel really bad that he was wasting all his free time on being with sick old me in the fucking infirmary, he had already spent a night and day with me in a hospital in London, he was so sweet to me. But I still loved his company, no matter how bad I felt. I liked to believe the feeling was mutual, he always seemed happy to talk to me or to see me and particularly to help me with my work – what a nerd – so I hoped he came to me happily by choice. I still couldn't seem to forgot that moment we had almost so nearly shared at the hospital. I also had to believe when he said he came here happily because he wanted to, I had asked him a few times and he just smiled and said 'I want to spend time with you Frank' or something similar, which always warmed me a little. Then sometimes he'd add a comment like 'At least I'm not out smoking.' Which would make me laugh, then miss the addiction I had to smoking.

Over all he was just such a great person. I had already said it, but still it seemed like everything he did or said and the longer I spent with him the more I liked him. The more I liked him as a person, as a friend and then the more I liked him in a way which was rather different than the way I had felt about any friend before or my sister for that matter. He was always so sweet and kind and it felt unnecessary like I didn't deserve it, it made me wonder why the hell he would be so nice to me? I was nothing special, sure I was nice and I never tried to start a fight and I was civil to a person even if I hated them – at least I tried to be, Mikey was hard to be civil towards no matter how hard I tried. It just made me feel like he cared and he was like it to everyone, he cared about everyone and everyone liked him, you couldn't dislike him, he was too nice and harmless.

Maybe what I liked the most however was his confidence, I hadn't seen him act shy or nervous, in the two classes he was in of mine, he didn't talk unless he needed to or felt like he wanted to, but when he did he was confident. And when he spoke to me or joked around with me, or anyone for that matter he seemed confidence and he had such a charm to him. He was flirty almost, well to me anyway, but he wasn't unsure, it was like he wasn't afraid that people would push him away or turn him down. But not flirty and confident in an arrogant way, he didn't think he was the best and just assume that everyone was totally into him, he was just subtle and strong so people weren't put off by it. That was hot. I wasn't even denying – to myself at least – that I was kind of really into him.