Doodling Medix Notes [Random Book 3]

[Diary] An Empty Husk

I know.

I know this is something that will go away. I know. Or at least, I'm trying to convince myself that.

I mean, I'm not lonely. I got great friends, great family, I have a hobby.

Then why do I feel so fucking empty?

It's a feeling that I hate the most. Sadness is a feeling. Anger is a feeling.

What is emptiness though? A void. Something you can't describe

Even the color black has some definition.

Then why do I feel this empty feeling?

My mom said that people feel sad, or feel something is missing if someone somewhere else misses them.

Then I wonder who is that someone who is missing me...

Or maybe it's not that... Maybe I just feel guilty for not clearing up something with a friend. Maybe I feel betrayed by them? That, they don't care about me at all? That I'm just that one person that they lean onto but I can't lean on them because they'll just drop me?

Maybe it's not betrayal... Maybe it's... Disappointment.

I know it's hard to believe that, but for someone who sucks at communicating and will ditch a conversation right at it without an effort of wrapping it up... I value friendship. More than love itself. So for me to see someone whom I feel like I dedicated so much to them... Just ignore what I care about, just be all egoistic about them and not their friend...

I. HATE. IT.

I hate it when people do it. I hate it, when, they think it's alright to just be all about them, and wonder why they don't have friends.

But then comes in the question... Do they know it? Do they know that's the case?

Should it be my duty to tell them, and then get the backlash of them yelling at me hatefully that I am wrong, that I also do it, that I'm abusing them?

Should I do it?

I don't know...

It's just a phase guys, I know, it's just that it helps me to relieve this somewhere where people can relate...

Thank you for sticking around this long... :3

I hope you have a nice day! Not that I'm leaving or anything, I just linger around

Pun intended