Suicidal~ A Liam Payne fan fiction

chapter 23

I awake to Liam cursing. "Liam? What's wrong" I ask sleepily. "This damn dresser is in my way" he curses. I giggle and say "What do you mean?"

"This used to be my room. There's something I want to show you."

"What is it?"

"A drawing. Help me move it?"

"Yeah."

I help him move his dresser and he smiles. "Thanks" he says. I nod and tell him that it was no problem. On the white wall is a drawing. It has a blue man, a pink woman, a little turqouise boy, and a little purple girl. All people are stick figures. The blue man is holding a microphone on stage. "This was my dream. I've got most of it" he whispers, running a hand along the drawing. "Kids! Get ready for the visitation" Karen hollers. I smile and get Oliver out of his playpen. "You'll get the other. Eventually" I smirk. He smiles and goes to change. I dress Oliver in black jeans and a black tee shirt. Liam steps out in balck skinny jeans and a black jacket. I hand Oliver over to Liam and go change. I find my black slacks and put them on. I rummage through my suitcase until I find a black long sleeve sweater that says Love in gold. 

I put on my Vans and go outside. Liam is dancing around with Oliver humming 'You and I.' I smile and join in. He smiles at me "How'd you know it so easily?" I hug him "Because it reminds me of us." He hugs me back and we go downstairs. "There's my handsome son! Oh and look at his gorgeous girlfriend" Karen brags to one of her friends. I smile as politely as  I can, despite the voice in my head that says 'Argue with her. You know she's wrong.' "Who's this cutie pie" an old woman asks me. "My son" I smile. She looks taken aback and says "it's not Liam's is it?" I laugh "He's Liam's. No doubt." The old woman asks how and say "Because I lost my virginity to him." She gasps at my truthfulness. I walk away and pull Liam away from his friends. "What's wrong" he asks. "Nothing. Take Oliver" I say. I was really dizzy. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass. My hands shook as I filled it with orange juice. I quickly gulp it down. That helped. "Rose, are you okay" Liam asks again. His voice is fading in and out.

I nod and suddenly everything is dark. I wake up in bed. Liam is by the bed with chocolate and a small bowl of ice cream. "Eat, you need sugar" he says. I nod and eat ravenously. I was starves. I'd had problems with blood sugar in the past but it eventually stopped. Liam stares at me strangely. "What" I ask. He holds my hand, his voice cracking as he said "You could've died. You hit your head hard and stop breathing for ten minutes. You were legally dead for ten minutes." Wait..what? How is that even possible? I pull Liam close. "I'm not leaving yet. Not for a while" I whisper. Tears were streaming down both our faces. I almost died. That would cause Liam to relapse, leaving Oliver an orphan.  "Good" he says. I nod and bury my head in his shoulder. Karen and Geoff step in. Geoff is holding Oliver, who is crying.

"Aw! Come here Oliver" I say, holding my hands out for him. Geoff hands me Oliver and I smile as Oliver stops crying. Oliver was so cute. Liam laid down next to me and smiled. "I'm glad your okay" he says, kissing my forehead. I was too. I am suicidal but I am not willing to leave my child. I tried to sit up and got majorly dizzy. I push it aside and stand up "We have a visitation to attend." Karen, Geoff, and Liam exchanged worried looks.I slowly walk down the stairs, being extra careful due to having a sleeping Oliver in my hand. Liam steadies me. "Liam, I can walk" I state. Liam looks at me "You could barely sit up. I don't think your capable of going anywhere yet." I sigh and complain about being dressed and ready to leave. I sit on the couch as Liam puts Oliver in his car seat. I make a point of sighing loudly. "Rose, I know you want to go. But I think it's safer if you stay here and be careful. Mom is staying with you" Liam states. "I don't need a babysitter" I grumble. "You do, too! Now, I love you and will see you in a bit" Liam says, kissing me. 

I don't want to be here. I want to be supporting Liam. I go to my bag and get the one thing Liam didn't know I had packed. My blade. I slash my wrists. "Rose, sweetie, I made lunch" I hear Karen call. I am just ruining everything. I shouldn't of come. I shouldn't be alive. I am just a bother. "Coming" I holler. I clean up and go downstairs. She hands me a plate and I silently thank her. When Liam comes home I greet him with a hug. I take Oliver, temporarily forgetting about the new cuts. "Rose, can we talk" Liam asks, pulling me into our room. I sigh as he sets me down on the bed and looks at my wrists like they'll explode. "Why? Why now? Why would you do this now" his voice cracks. "I'm a pest. I don't belong here. I don't belong with you. You're too good for me. I shouldn't even be alive" tears steadily stream down my face. I'm ashamed and embarrassed. "You should never say that. I love you and you can't leave me" Liam states firmly.