The janoskians imagines (requests are open)

jai imagine

He left me. He left me out there is this cold world to defend for myself. HE LEFT ME.
And now....he was back. Standing out on my front porch banging on my door for forgiveness.
But did he deserve it?
"Y/n please. Talk to me."
I was embarrassed for the fact that i fell for him. I thought that we might just have a chance.
I was wrong.
There he was snogging another girl after he told me to come to a restaurant with him for a surprise.
"Y/n. Please. Open the door."
I stood there in my gorgeous dress that i worked so hard for.
While i was standing there in that dress getting muddy because of the rain and soaked up tears.
He was there.
Holding her with so much passion.
Kissing her like she was the oxygen he needed to live.
He said hed never hurt me.
Said hed always be there for me.
This is why we were even at the restaurant in the first place.
He left me for 3 months.
No phone calls or a sign.
He told me hed make up to me tonight.
Instead he hurt me even more.
"Y/n. Please open the damn door." he says while banging brutally against the door.
"GO AWAY" i yell
My legs pulled to my chest.
Tears still soaking my dress.
The dress was now ruined.
"Just talk to me. Please."
He repeated those words over and over again.
My hear broke.
My heart broke for the 5th time that night.
"Just go home"
I say through the door.
Tears ruining my makeup.
"Please. Y/n. Talk to me"
His voice was breaking.
Like he had been the one crying.
"Go home jai."
I whispered not being able to find my voice anymore.
He continued to bang.
Not giving up.
I got to my feet as slowly as i can.
My head hurt. My feet hurt.
But what hurt the most. Was my heart.
I started at the door.
Hearing the bangs.
I held the cold door knob.
It felt icy underneef my hands.
I turned it and pulled the door open just slightly.
Hearing the creaking of the door.
"Y/n. Please explain. Talk to me."
He said reaching in for a hug.
I pulled away pushing him away from me.
He stood there.
In the cold rain.
He was soaked from head to toe.
In the weather but mostly his tears.
Why was he crying.
He wasn't the one heart broken.
He went for a hug again pulling me too him this time.
I pushed him further out the door this time.
He stood there.
With a look of hurt on his face.
He grabbed me in a tight hold.
One i couldn't escape.
Dragging me out into the raid he held my hands.
I pushed and shoved.
"Let me go"
I said with a harsh tone.
He looked at me with hurt.
Letting me go making me stumble back.
"What is wrong with you?"
"You love the rain"
He was right.
I did love the rain.
Memories of us came back.
Playing in the rain is what we loved.
But right now.
I hated it.
Just like everything else right now.
I felt like giving him a sarcastic reply.
But i couldn't say anything.
I was standing in front of the boy i loved.
The one who stole my heart and  then broke it into a million pieces.
I wanted to say so much.
But yet. I couldn't say anything.
The air in my lings was suffocating me.
I stood there.
With my head down.
Fearing to look up. Fearing to look into those eyes.
"You don't have to say anything. I now know."
He knew?
Yet he didn't say anything.
Nothing.
"I knew you liked me. I only knew for a little bit though."
Why was he doing this?
He was humiliating me.
"Y/n. What happened there. Back at the returuant was not my idea of how things were going to go tonight"
He says.
His voice soft and sounding like pure heaven.
"Then why did you let it go on"
I spoke.
My voice shaking.
I dint look up.
For if i did i would fall into those eyes.
"I....i don't know. Listen it was a mistake a stupid one and i never meant for you to see it."
He gave his shit excuse.
He knew that i liked him.
But yet he let it go on.
He caused me heartbreak.
"Y/n.....i-im sooo sorry"
Sorry for what.
"Sorry? For what?"
I wanted to know.
Did he even know what he was sorry for.
Or was he just saying it in hopes for forgiveness.
"For everything"
There he stood.
Crying in the rain with me.
Saying sorry.
But not having any good reasons to back him up on why he's sorry.
I looked at him.
I felt the anger in me.
I looked at him with rage in my eyes.
Fire dancing in them.
But soon being drowned out.
I felt tears.
Tears that sprung to my eyes.
For the 15 time this night.
I started crying again.
He went to hug me.
"Dont."
I said my voice weak.
I was weak.
I let the tears fall.
I stood in the rain trying to comprehend the words o would say to him.
But yet nothing came out.
Apart from a soft voice.
With words i didn't want to say.
"I fell for you."
He looked at me.
A spark of happiness in his eyes.
He went to hold me.
With my hand up.
I pushed him back.
"I fell for you. So damn hard. It was like falling fron the highest building in the world. I was hoping. No i was praying that you would be there waiting to catch me. But instead you let me fall. It was like me breaking into a million pieces while you. You fucking stood there. Laughing at me. Do you know how much pain and agony you put me through. I've been there for you through it all. And yet you noticed but didn't say anything? You watched me fall. You caused me to break. And the worst part of it all is the fact that i don't hate you. Jot even a little bit."

"Not even at all"

My tears ran like a waterfall.
I never wanted to say those words out loud.
Not even to him.
"You promised you would be there for me. Promise you would catch me when i fall"
He looked down.
I was drenched.
I was cold.
"You promised...."
My voice cracked for the 18th time.
He stood there looking at the ground.
Not saying anything.
Not a single word.
"Im Sorry..."
He spoke voice shaking.
He looked up.
Tears.
Red puffy eyes.
"I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry i left you. I'm sorry i caused you all this pain. I'm sorry i wasn't there to catch you. I'm sorry."
His voice was getting louder.
"Please. Understand. I didn't know how to tell you. I loved you. I made a mistake. I should have just loved you. I shouldn't have been a dick. I'm sorry"
He knew what he was sorry for.
And that's all i wanted.
For him to know what he did wrong.
Tears clouded my vision.
I feel to the ground.
Sitting on my knees as i cried.
He stood there.
Looking at me.
Tears clouded his own vision.
He wobbled over to me.
Falling to his knees in front of me.
"Please let me make it up to you."
I wanted to say yes straight away.
But how do you make it up to someone you broke.
Did i want him to make it up to me.
Thoughts clouded my head.
I was going to say no.
But he said those five words.
That one sentence. 
And i feel right back in.

"Please. Let me love you"

I looked up at him.
Looking at that beautiful boy cry infront of me.
I lt broke my heart even more.
I couldn't say no.
Maybe this could work.
"Okay..."
His eyes lit up.
But my heart was still broken.
It was going to take a lot more than an i live you to fix me.
To fix his damage.

I hope that.
If he isn't the one.
That someone else.
Will save me.