Playing With Fire (Excerpt Only) - BWWM Interracial Romance

Playing with Fire (Chapter 2)

CHAPTER TWO: NIGHT REVELATIONS

How did this happen? Janet thought as she tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

She had loved being with David and loved him as a person, but with the knowledge and humiliation of his affair, everything she felt for him nearly immediately disappeared, replaced by hurt and anger, and then later, disgust and disdain.

The two of them had been growing apart for a while, she realized; despite saying yes to his marriage proposal, she kept putting off any wedding planning, refusing to acknowledge to herself that she didn't really want to go through with it. From somewhere inside, she knew it wasn't right.

But now, almost as quickly as she had disentangled herself from David, she was enraptured with Eric, although she knew the swiftness of it wasn't the odd part—people got instantaneous crushes all the time. But so soon after a serious, three-year relationship?

Was Eric just a rebound guy? A matter of convenience? A way to work through whatever lingering emotions she had left?

"Mommy, I wish you were here," she said out loud in a strained whisper, her voice constrained by tears held back. Then she could hold them back no more.

Take it easy, baby, she imagined her mom saying. One day at a time.

Janet was unsure exactly why she was crying, but she figured it had to be a simple release from a long, hard day.

Then she realized what else was making her break down, and it wasn't just loneliness.

She felt vulnerable again. In trouble. Like someone had snatched all her shields away.

She had been able to keep herself safe and guarded for a long time with David, and the emotional distance she maintained helped her bounce back from his betrayal. Since she didn't really want him, his infidelity ultimately didn't matter. The time she spent on guys before him—their transgressions and sins against her didn't really matter either; she never cared enough about keeping any of them.

But then Eric snuck in, unannounced and unassuming, and he carried with him a force more than capable of breaking down her carefully built fortress. She found herself longing to look into the oceans of his eyes—eyes that not only held humor but kindness and caring; she'd seen them all pass through in one night.

Eric was the ultimate in dangerous—physical perfection, yet he didn't seem like a jerk or a man-whore, or some other type of asshole she would never seriously give the time of day no matter what they looked like.

Of course, the best players always seem that way, she thought, but she knew she was forming a lie to herself. She found it true generally but didn't sense that it was applicable to him.

She was horrified that her common sense was being overridden by her emotions, and that Eric had the ability to melt her with one look and she couldn't even hide her reaction to him.

She recognized it immediately—her willingness to leave her fortress for him, to throw caution to the wind and go with whatever wave he rode on, no matter where it left her. She wanted to know what it was like to be wrapped up in his firm arms, against his broad chest.

He seemed like a protector, and as tough as she imagined she presented herself, she needed protecting, needed someone to show her the kind of caring he had shown her tonight.

She also felt insane attributing so much to such little interaction, and the fact that she had clearly lost her ability to reason properly when it came to him made her devastated about losing her control after all.