This Story is Junk

First Cycle: Chapter One

I have no idea what I'm doing here.


      I'm in a cave, I think. It's dark, and there are stalactites on the floor and stalagmites on the ceiling. Or do I have that backwards? A noise echoes through the darkness and I'm afraid to approach it, but the bears hanging from their perches behind me are even less inviting. I walk toward the noise and find a woman, dressed in fishnets and covered in tattoos, singing by a fire. There's a fishbowl full of little black stones by her feet.

    "Hello?" I say. It's the first time I hear my own voice. It sounds weird

     "Jeezaloo!" the woman shrieks. She kicks a charred piece of wood at me and in that moment, I learn that fire is hot. "Did ye just pop into existence back there?"

     I shrug. The woman jumps up to inspect me more closely. Even with all those colourful tattoos swirling over her skin, I can tell she is approaching middle-age from the wrinkles around her eyes. I can also tell that she doesn't trust me, but at the same time, I don't seem to pose a threat to her, so she sits back down.


      "If ye put out my fire, I'll kill ye," she tells me. "Took me a whole day to figure out how the heck to start the damn thing. Nearly burned this whole place to the ground."

     "How'd you do it?" I ask.


     "Not sure. Was smacking some sticks together like I seen in the vids and just as I sneezed, the fire came about. Like magic, it was."

     "Interesting... Any idea where we are?"

     The woman goes quiet for a moment and I can see a twinkle in her mistrusting eyes.

     "You did just enter this world," she whispers ominously. "Mind's all blank, just waiting to get filled up with nonsense. I could make ye believe in things that'll get ye killed, like how eating Drundleberries gives ye wings, or stepping into Hazmat territory will bring you riches beyond imagin,' or have you go seeking out the Creator itself. That'd be worth a laugh. Instead, I'll tell ye what I wish someone had told me when I dropped into this muck: Keep that mind blank."


     "I don't know what any of that means, but I'm thankful for the advice," I say.


     There's a bright light coming from the mouth of the cave that I decide to investigate. I can hear the woman mumbling behind me.

     "Wait up!" I turn to see that she has put out the fire she worked so hard to create. She carries the fishbowl with her and follows me out of the cave. "You'll get yerself killed in five seconds out here. Best be comin' with ye so you can be buried right proper. 'Sides, I need new shoes. The ones I take from yer corpse will do nicely."


     "You are a kind old woman," I reply.


     "Name's Yordagarianigan Blunt, and watch who yer callin' old!"


     "Whatever you say, Blunt."


     "Call me Yordagarianigan, please."


     "No thank you. Blunt is much easier."


     "I'm already regrettin' this."


     The world outside the cave is the most bizarre thing I had seen in my brief five minutes of existence. The land is covered in trillions upon trillions of little red stones... sand. The land is covered in sand with rolling dunes that crested into waves of fire. Large creatures with fins and fangs leap up from the waves and splash back down. Beyond the dunes is a mountain range tall enough to pierce the sky. A new word forms in my mind: Beautiful.


     "Welcome to the world," Blunt says.