My Love For Grace

Chapter 2

     Surprisingly enough, Austin Jr. Has assigned him my case load, everything I do as a prarlegal and intern will go through him. He is my lawyer. That means that I will learn everything there is to know about my future profession through him. Being Jrs para is weird because I'm not legally a para officially yet, and he has a group of better paras to pick to give me the basics so I can do my job, so I can one day be Jr's para.

     Whatever the circumstances, I can do it all.
    
     If he ever has me do actual legal stuff. When will I learn the dos and donts? I thought interning was fetching coffee and memorizing stupid shit. So far Jounior's only had me organize all of his files, and pick out what leather fits in his brand new office that his father gave him. Jr's finally got the best view out of all the lawyers in this practice, and he's the newest partner in the firm and the youngest.

     I might not be getting paid for this, but if he wanted me to be his interier designer...it had better still count as a intern hours. I am still a little creaped out that my cubical is perpendicular to his secretary's beatuiful glass desk. Because no other paralegal is in this side of the office, they are all secretary's for other lawyers in the firm.

     This place reminds me a ton of my fathers insurance office. High classed workers from all areas of the world. Right here in stupid little Maryland, with a very close distance to Washington DC its self. Although I've only even been to DC. twice since living this close I want to work there someday. Hold my entire wealth there, and be the best para ever. Maybe even help some innocent people grow stronger in my time.

     "Grace, Mr. Lynch himself would like to see you in his office" Ana Jrs secretary told me from across the isle. Its weird being this close to the boss man and being an intern. It makes me wonder if my last name had any recoil to why im being treated this fairly. And with that I stand up, fix my dress comb my hair with my hands because you never wanna look sloppy for your boss; and i head in his office doors. Its safe to say his office is the size of three dorm rooms. Very nice and cozy now thanks to me.

     "You wanted to speak with me Sir." I announce my presence as if he couldnt hear the door and the heels clacking.

     "You dont have to call me Sir Grace, just Austin." He smiled a whicked smile while closing his laptop. I made a mental note to ask if i get a laptop.

     "Okay, Just Austin, Im here." I say in a sarcastic playful manner.

     "You sure are living up to the stories I've heard from McDaniel students." Austin gets up and meets me halfway in the room motioning me to sit down on one of his couches that I picked out.

     "Do tell" I smile sitting down very lady like, I have to remember to stay poised on a daily basis, I'm not this way, I am certainly not girly...

     "I cannot explain everything; but I can tell you that Jesse Branham let me know a few things about you last year when he interned with me. He's crazy for you, I'm suprised that you two havent gotten married yet." His words stung. How could he not know? How could he pretend to know Jess well enough, but not know about his major disappearance?

     "Me too." I gulp with tears welling from my eyes. Stop it Grace, you're strongerthan this. "I can't say that I'm not suprised." I frown. Jr catches on.

     "How is Jess?" He asks catching that something is wrong and this isn't a good topic.

     "I wouldnt know, and from what it seems like neither do you." I stand up, I needed to get my blood surging before I start to cry again. All the heartbreak all the pain just racing through my mind. I can't do this. I can't break again. And its happening again. The memories, the happiness the feelings. Him. Jess. My love leaving no note no "I love you Gracie" Jesse just left, and broke me.

     How could he have loved someone so much and just leave? I used to say I'd give anything for him to see me. To touch me. To have Jesse back with me. My love. Being without him is terrible, the heartbreak undeniably the second hardest loss I've ever had; but this loss...this loss I'm alone.

     The lonesome is deadly.

     I don't want to love if it wasn't loving and having him. I spent days maybe even a month in bed not moving not feeling, just numb. I read every single sad poem I could possibly read and cried and cried and cried into my very own sadness.  Because slowly, I learned. Nobody cared Jess left. They knew eventually he would.

     When I was fifteen I fell in love with a boy and his lips and the way they felt against mine mixed with cold winter air. I thought I had helped him find himself. I gave him everything at the young age of sixteen. I loved him so much. More than any fifteen year old has ever loved anything. Jess was mine, and I too was Jess'. That feeling was magical, spending countless nights by his side laying on my parents roof looking at the stars frozen from the moment we just shared. Sometimes we wouldn't talk after sex, because Jess and I said it all already. There was nothing else to say or show. Jess and I were meant to be together forever.

     I'm lost in my own little heartbreaking moment when I notice Jr. Got up and now stands right in front of my inspecting my facial features, inspecting me. My hurt. And the level of care written on his face says it all.

     He truly didnt know Jess actually left.
     And he left without me. And I have no idea where he is.

     "Grace, I'm really sorry I didn't know."

     "It's okay Just Austin, I forgot Jess interned here." I snapped back into reality trying to forget the past, because no matter how heartbreaking it is, my Jess is the past.

     "He hardly did, following me around like a sick puppy never being able to hold his own. If he ever made it to law school it would be a hell of a fight for him to actually be a lawyer." I smiled when he heard that because I've told Jess that a half a dozen times. He just couldnt handle the pressure it had along with it. And I knew that surely Jess had to of known, he wasnt an independent man. Thats probably why its so hard to believe he actually left. He left me.

     "He sure is met by a whole crazy independent world out there, hopefully he holds his own." I smiled at Jr trying to not cry.

     I miss Jess so much it hurts. Ive never. wanted to breathe without him loving me. And somehow i failed him. I dont know how, but i failed Jess. And I can hardly breathe without Jess.

Jess come back my love. I need you
I cant breathe without you
I cant sleep without you,
How can I be without you
My love?