Nando's Girl

38: Broken friendships and secrets revealed

ROBIN:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE THE JOB!" Alice yelled, a ball of half chewed pop tart zooming out of her mouth and splashing on the window.

"I mean," I sighed "that I'm going to tell Jon that I can't do it."

"BUT WHY! This is your dream Robin don't throw away your shot!"

"really, you're gonna quote Hamilton on this?"

"IF IT MAKES YOU GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS ILL SING THE WHOLE DAMN MUSICAL!"

"Please don't you have no talent in singing whats so ev-"

"OKAY WE GET IT!" Isabella yelled, silencing myself and Alice. Exhausted, my friend turned to me once more, her make up free face and faded pyjamas "Robin you can't do this."

"I called you all her to seek advice, I haven't said that's my final decision," I pointed out, struggling to keep my annoyance at bay. It was in the depths of night, and the eight of us had crammed into my tiny bedroom. Myself Harriet and Olivia were all squashed on my double bed and the others were dotted around on the floor, the Carpet a marsh of duvets, pillows and laptops. Luckily I had the flat to ourselves so we didn't need to be quiet. It was currently in the early hours of the morning, and I'd only just mustered up the courage to tell them the truth.

"But what's stopping you from doing this?" Sophie asked, looking utterly confused.
"Yea," Tasha piped up "four months travelling the world, not really seeing the down side to it."

I can't leave Joe. He needs me, I need him, is that not enough? I can't imagine leaving him for months when he isn't himself. And I can't just ask him to come with me, he has a house, projects, a life back here in London that he can't just uproot and join me. Don't they see that if i leave him I'll loose him forever?

Of course I didn't say any of that out loud, instead muttering "I'll just miss you guys too much. It's fine honestly it's not a big de-"

"No," Harriet interrupted "mm mm no I'm sorry we're not accepting that. This is about Joe isn't it?"

"He has nothing to do with this."

"Of course he is; he's the reason you're a blubbering pathetic mess half the time."

"HARRIET!"

"Oh shut up Olivia you said the exact same thing yesterday," She spat, scowling at her friend and turned back to me "He's not worth it Chalk get over the guy!"

"It's a lot more difficult then it sounds," I snapped, struggling to keep my emotions in check.

scoffing, Harriet rolled her eyes again " He doesn't love you Robin, and lets face it never will. Love is a charade- it doesn't exist!"

"How do you know?"

"Because YOU'RE YOU!" She suddenly burst, a torrent of emotion spouting and swinging punches every time "You guys live in two different worlds, and you're kidding yourself by thinking you could ever be a part of that. I mean, you're too scared to even tell him how you feel, and yet you're willing to give up the job of your dreams for a guy who will only ever see you as a friend. IT'S PATHETIC ROBIN! IT'S THE MOST PATHETIC THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"

"WHAT IS YOUR DEAL HARRIET? ARE YOU SUDDENLY JEALOUS OF ME BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, I'M NOT STUCK UNDER MUMMY'S CONTROL AND ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE?"

"AT LEAST I'M NOT A PARENT-LESS BITCH OBSESSING OVER A GUY WHO WILL NEVER LOVE ME!"

Shocked silence enveloped the room. Wide eyes and slack jaws were a common thing on peoples faces; many were looking in my direction, and I could feel my breath hitching in my throat and my emotions roaring in some far off place in my body. I stared back into the hard eyes of my friend and saw a barrier there, crumbling down like our years of friendship. I tried to speak but something stopped me for a second, because I knew that in some cases she was right. And that fricking sucked, but pride was always something that ruined me and I didn't want to admit to. Instead I suddenly got up and pulled on a jumper. Ignoring the questions and the vouches of concern and slammed out the room. Grabbing a random pair of shoes and stabbed the lift button and in a minute I was out on the dark street, striding down the streets and trying to ready my emotions for what I was about to do. I don't know if I was doing this just because I've been provoked, but I gotta do this now or I won't do this at all. I was angry at myself angry at Harriet and honestly angry at just everything. I don't quite know how long I'd been walking for, I'd left my phone at home and all the shops were closed, so I just walked. I finally arrived at my destination and sighed briefly as I realised what I was about to do. This could change my life in a way that I've wanted for a long time or I could crash and burn into oblivion.

"Robin?" Joe frowned, looking very confused "What are you doing here?"

He looked sleepy, his clothes ruffled and sleep in the corner of his eyes and it hurt me to see him like that. I coughed my nerves down and looked back at him. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay sure, what is it Love?"

"I uh.."

Am I actually gonna do this? It's not too late I can say something else I can pull out Robin stop this don't say anything dont be stupid ROBINDON'TDOITDON'TDOITDON'TDOIT

"I like you Joe."

"What?"

"Baby who is it?"

And as i watched a beautiful girl walk up behind him and wrap a arm around his waist. She was wearing sweatpants and one of Joe's Radio head shirts. she wore no makeup and her hair was slightly frizzy, yet she radiated kindness and not a shred of Bitchiness. she confirmed this by smiling at me and asking sweetly "Are you Robin? It's so nice to finally meet you I'm Jaden."

I turned back to Joe, but he was still staring at me in shock. He couldn't even say anything. I didn't even reply, I just fled. I ran and ran through the darkness, trying to outrun my shattering heart. He had a girlfriend. That's why he was acting weird, because he was hiding her. I hated him. I hated every fibre of his being. Of course he couldn't like me, not when he had someone like Jaden. You're so stupid robin, and to think you were going to quit your job for him. for a boy who doesn't even care. I hate him, I hate him I hate him-

"ROBIN!"

And then I heard a smacking of feet and someone calling my name and I turned to see him. Staring at me begging for answers. And I couldn't run anymore, I was exaughsted and I just couldn't run anymore. I turned to him and wiped away my tears and we stared at him face to face.

This conversation was going to change everything.

So it happened guys. She confessed how she feels and honestly, I think I could of done better with this chapter. I don't know If I like this or not because this chapters a huge deal and I don't know it kinda seems flat. I'm still going to upload it, but I might rewrite stuff later on if I'm not happy. Just warning you guys.

I'm very tired if you didn't catch that, and I just want half term already. like Plez i just want to sleep and drink tea and eat toast whenever I want and I'm so tired please send help. I also have mocks after half term and I dont wanna I dont wanna I dont wanna but I'm going to have to. I would write more but I think I might take a nap. Thank you so much for all your support, I got a comment from a french reader and it was really nice so thank you to that person. please vote and comment, and share with friends because sharing is caring and I love all your support. OKAY BBYYYEEE!!! XX