Do Simple Better (Anthony Rizzo)

Chapter 54: But You Love Me Too

-Anthony's POV-

Game one of the NLDS was what everyone said it would be. A pitchers duel and one person as the standout hero. Jon ends up on top and Javy becomes our hero. We all know what this team is about, the grind and brains behind us. It's the post season and a win is a win, even if it is 1-0. We return to the field the next day and I work on my at bats. I was a little rusty and no one ever got in trouble for being too good. I take a few cuts and feel more comfortable. We were all chill, we know what we need to do to do better and understand the process to reach the ultimate goal. No matter how hard it gets we have each other and that's more than enough. After batting practice we all chill in the clubhouse like always, we might always be together but we never get enough of each other. It's important when playing sports that you enjoy it and the people who play it. It never feels like work, it's like a family reunion every day where we learn something new about each other and enjoy each other's company. Family is important and I won't take any of these moments for granted. "Don't feel bad Bam Bam, you're place in post season history will forever be that bomb you put on top of the board that had to be found by a helicopter" Vanessa assure Schwarbs. He's bummed he's not a statistical part of this but he is such a key piece to this group. "That was pretty cool" he admits earning a laugh. He was so funny. We talk about the good times and prepare for the game to make new ones. I haven't seen much of Vanessa today which was weird but I'm sure she's around here somewhere.

The game starts and still no sign of Vanessa. I was starting to get stressed but didn't want to be distracted. I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to her. As the day goes on I still can't find her. I start asking around and no one seems to know her where abouts. A few minutes before starting line ups she appears and I sigh in relief. I wasn't happy, but I was relieved. They announce our names and the game starts with loud cheers. I don't talk to Vanessa because I was in game mode and a tad angry with her in too of that. I guess I'm just upset that she didn't tell me she was going to gone so long, I thought something happened to her. As the game wears on the tension between us grows. With a comfortable 5-2 lead the dugout is its regular rambunctious self. I myself wasn't doing so good. I mean Travis has more RBIs and hits than I do and he's had one at bat. I've been striking out a lot and it wasn't pretty. I'm more upset with myself than anyone but Vanessa made it harder on me to focus in my play. I was so worried something had happened to her that it was getting the best of me. As I walk off the field after getting out once again I was pretty heated. I loved how good we were doing but pissed I wasn't contributing. "You'll get them next time" Vanessa says with a sweet smile and but I just wasn't in the mood. I guess she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. "Yeah, whatever" I snap heading to put my things up. She follows me and sets a hand on my shoulder until I shrug it off. Her smile turned into a frown and I could tell I had hurt her, I was just too stupid to care. "Excuse me, can you inform me why your so upset with me" she asks obviously over my attitude. But I was in no mood to talk, especially to her. "Not really" I mumble grabbing my glove and going to watch the game. She sighs hard and I stop walking knowing I wasn't going to like what is coming next. "Please Anthony, you know how much I hate the idea of me making someone upset. Especially you. So tell me what I can do so I can fix it" she begs from behind me. "I just need space. You're not exactly the first or even second person I want to talk to right now" I scoff heading to watch the game again. As soon as those words passed my lips I regretted it. I didn't mean it, my emotions are controlling me and I lost control. She stops following me and instead I am greeted by angry teammates. I hear her sniffle and I know that if I turn around I would not like what I saw. By the time I turn around she's gone and I let out a groan. I fucked up bad. "That's not cool dude" Dexter says shaking his head. As if I didn't already feel bad enough, this wasn't helping. "I suggest you fix this before the damage is done" David suggests. If looks could kill. I head to the locker room to find Vanessa in my stall with her head against the back. The tears were falling and I feel like I just got punched in the gut 50 times. She looked so... sad, and it was all my fault. I hated when we fought. It was honestly the worst. "Vanessa" I say slowly trying not to startle her. "Yes Anthony" she sighs already over this conversation. I sit in the stall next to her and watch as she remains motionless. "Listen, V. I didn't mean those things" I try. "But you did. You obviously feel different towards me right now and I just want to fix it. But you won't help me" she sighs crying a little harder. "It's not your fault, I'm just under performing under a lot of pressure. I'm not upset with you. I promise" I say. She sniffles a little then opens her eyes. "I get it Anthony. I really do. You love this game and this team, these things are going to happen. But you love me too, and taking your anger out on me won't solve any problems. It creates them. We're getting married soon, when things get hard you're going to have to learn to talk with me, not over me" she says. She refused to make eye contact with me again I feel like I took another blow. "I do love you. When it seems like I don't love you is probably when I love you the most. Right now... I was just upset I couldn't find you nearly all day and can't get my bat to hit the ball the way I want it. It's not you" I reason. "But you have to tell me you're upset with me. We're getting married Anthony. You have to tell me this stuff so we can fix it. Just like your at bats. I love you to pieces but you're delusional  if you think it is okay to treat me the way you just did" she sighs. God, I really hurt her. "Come here" I say opening my arms as she comes over and curls up in them. "I'm really sorry, I wasn't thinking about your feelings or that you just wanted to help me. Don't think I don't know how lucky I am to have you, I'm thankful every day. This team needs you too. I'm sorry I made you upset" I say squeezing her tighter and kissing her head. "I love you" she says finally looking in my eyes. "I love you too" I smile and she kisses me. "Where were you anyway" I ask
walking back to the dugout. "That's a surprise" she smirks.

Magic number=9