The cool ocean air freezes their hotel room, and when they wake up in the morning, they are tangled limb for limb under the duvet. Jacob wakes up first. His eyes feel heavily sealed, and he lets out a loud groan, stirring Troye awake.
Then he remembers last night.
Troye is quickly untangling himself from Jacob after a moment of stillness, rolling out of the bed and stumbling onto his feet.
"Troye," Jacob warns.
Troye is slipping his sweats on quickly, and Jacob's not in the mood. He just- he just crawls to the end of the bed and awkwardly tackles him to the hotel floor.
"Jacob, get off of me," Troye groans lifelessly.
"We are talking about this."
"I don't want to."
"We have too."
"I don't have to do anything."
"Stop being a brat, Troye."
"You're the one being a brat, Jacob. I don't want to talk about what happened, okay? Now get the fuck off me."
"Why don't you want to talk about it?"
"I just don't."
"Why?"
"Because it's embarrassing!"
"Oh, embarrassing? Is that what it is for you? Because it's fucking heartbreak for me."
Troye is writhing beneath Jacob, who has him pinned to the ground. They are yelling, but they can't be damned to give a shit.
"I told you I was too much for you!" Troye cries out, "You didn't ask for all this! I know, Jacob!"
"What are you talking about, Troye? I'm pretty sure when I asked you to be my boyfriend, I was asking for all this. I knew about it all before, Troye. None of this changes the fact that I am in love with you!"
Troye closes his eyes, turning his head to the side of the floor, going pliant under Jacob.
"I need to know what is going on in your head, Troye. I need to know how to help you." Jacob says desperately, brushing Troye's curls back best he can, "Why are you shaking your head, love?"
"Because I don't know what's going on half of the time." Troye sobs, "Sometimes things just- just happen, Jake. I just- no one has loved me like you have. And- and I get insecure, and scared."
"Why do you get insecure and scared, love?" Jacob asks, lowering his face so he can trail gentle kisses over his jaw.
"Because I think you're going to realise I am more trouble to your life than good," Troye whispers through his tears, "and that one day you're just going to leave me."
Jacob sucks kisses into the skin on Troye's neck, calming Troye down to coax the answers from him, "So what were you feeling last night?" He murmurs it against his skin, basking in the shiver that goes through Troye's body.
"Jealous, and scared, a-and dirty."
It's like the words are engraved into his brain. Like he has been thinking about them since then and nothing else. Like they're practised.
Jacob brings his hands up and tangles his fingers in Troye's curls, kissing back over his jaw and to his throat, "Why were you jealous?"
"Because I didn't get to know you growing up," Troye leans his head back, supple under Jacob's touch, "and I was scared because I felt dirty. I just started feeling really dirty, and gross. Because I didn't know you, and I don't know your family, and I don't know how to be normal."
