Him

turqoise eyes

All I remember from that night was Dylan's eyes. I could literally stare into them forever. They were definitely the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They were striking blue- actually more like a turquoise. Yes, definitely turquoise. 

Now that I think back, I remember one more thing from that night. I remember how much I loved him. How much I do love him. I literally thought I would marry him and have a life with him. I seriously thought I would absolutely die without him. 

... But I had no choice to think that. He saved me when I was at my worst. He was the key to helping me fully recover. I suffered from bulimia since I was 14 years old. I'm now 17. And he helped me through it day and night. He was literally by my side the entire time. Because of his help, I'm proud to say I haven't purged for a year.

Dylan. It's been five months and three weeks and we're still as strong as ever. He's absolutely the best boyfriend any girl could want. Hes mysterious, yet gentle and delicate. He has shiny black hair and anyone would be able to tell that he works out five times a week. He also has the most beautiful face. The way he looks at me makes me feel like we could fight anything together. The look that he believes in me. Believing in me when I felt that no one could. It's weird to explain. And that eyeliner he wears makes me love him even mor-

"Ms. Alana?" shouted my math teacher.

"Huh, what????"

Why do I always zone out thinking about him?

                                                                           The Next Day

I wake to my stupid alarm going off. I hit the button and get up and to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I'm such an ugly person I don't understand how my boyfriend could ever love such an ugly person. I don't deserve him, he deserves so much better. When I just can't take it anymore- looking at my ugly face I decided to wash my face, straighten my hair, and put on my makeup. When I went back to my room to get dressed I decide to wear a pair of ripped high- waist dark wash jeans and a black cotton cropped top with a pocket on the side. Next I look on my floor to see a wide erray of my Vans collection. Let me just say, I have a slight problem. I finally decide on my Old Skool red and white checkerboard ones. 

I slowly and quietly go down stairs cause I can my mom on the phone. I eavesdrop and listen to the conversation.

"All work full time, anything but to lose my job; please....."

Huh? This can't happen. My mom works at McDonalds. She's been working there for two years now, ever since my dad left. I mean we see him sometimes, but the truth is I never want to see that asshole. 

My mom is really shy and petite, it took her a lot to finally kick him out. I love her so much and she needs to realize she doesn't deserve an asshole like him. Her and I both have long jet black hair and brown eyes. I was always jealous of her figure though. She has curves throughout her body, versus me. I'm small-chested with a big ass and big thighs. Is it too much to ask to have a big ass and big boobs? 

When I finally get the nerve to go into the kitchen, I see my moms eyes all red and puffy. She says good morning and I put on a little act pretending to not know what's wrong.

"Whats wrong mom?"

"Work promblems,"she replies.

I hear the bus come in the drive way, so I get my jacket and I grab my headphones and backpack.

"I love you, mom"

She gets up and kisses me on the cheek. "Have a good day".

A part of me hates leaving my mom everyday. She works at a crappy job, she's all alone, and suffers severe depression. I just wish I could help her somehow...

The bus ride was slow and I'm just happy to get off that cramped bus and get to school when...

 I see the impossible.

Dylan is kissing another girl.

My heart is aching and burning. A rage of jealous, anger and saddness covered me. My vision became blurry. I screamed really loud- not caring about all the curious eyes. All at once my books drop right out of my hands and the next thing I know every thing turns black.

My eyes slowly flutter open. All I see is white. Then I realize I'm in a hospital bed. I'm confused. I don't understand? Am I dead?

Then sadly I suddenly remember every thing. I remember my mom fighting with her boss. I remember going to school. I remember seeing the impossible.

OH NO! OH NO! IT WAS JUST A DREAM, TELL ME IT WAS JUST A DREAM!?

Without even knowing it I just realized I was crying- I lied. I was balling.The next thing I know I feel a hand on my back. It sent heat through my entire body, it made me shiver a little.I know that hand though- that hand touched me many times before. The person who that hand belongs to is the one person I do not want to see right now.

I look up to see those beautiful turquiose eyes I love. But then I take a look closer- those weren't the eyes I loved. The eyes I was looking at were red, puffy ,tired, worried,depressed,scared. Oh and his hair it wasn't perfect like it always was. It was madded,greasy,dirty.

I couldn't even look at him. Seeing him like this hurt my eyes.

I looked away."I love you" i say.

"I love you too my beautiful angel... I am so sorry for my horrible mistake..."

"You're only sorry because I caught you!!!"

"No"he whispered."I love you too much my beautiful angel.She kissed me first,I swear."

"Shut up Dylan!"

A tear strolled down his cheek. His turquoise eyes burned into my soul. It was a new look I've never seen before.

"I am so sorry", he said. Then he got up and left. After he left, I burst into tears.