The Blue Door (Van McCann Fanfiction)

Van: The Designated Fling

Feeling stupid, I looked at the door for one full minute, then opened it again, hoping that I could still make a run for Brynn. I took a step, but then I stopped myself. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't caved to my feelings towards Brynn. She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to see me anymore, so I'll just leave it at that.

I wanted to explain myself but the truth was too much for me to say, it was making me dizzy - I have stopped seeing Rachel. In fact, I didn't want to see Rachel anymore because I just didn't see how I can get on with her. The naked photo that Brynn went crazy about was just a joke between my mates and I. And I actually do care about Brynn. A lot. More than she'll ever know. More than I actually should.

Knowing that I couldn't undo anything, I inhaled deeply and walked back into the apartment. 

It's over.

I guess it's probably best to just lay off all of these relationship stuff for a bit. Maybe I need another year alone with no relationship commitments so I could focus with the band and touring. I only have time to think about my band anyway.

The next few days were all about the band. There was a slight delay in releasing our album, since Billy left and there were some parts of the songs that needed to be changed due to some copyright issues. Billy claimed that some of the riffs and lyrics were his, so, I basically need to rewrite some of the songs on the album, and rerecord it with Bondy. I was glad that we could resolve the issue immediately.

We quickly flew back to England once we were done recording. But, somehow, I was unable to stop myself from thinking about Brynn.

My friends all sensed something was off though, and asked questions I didn't want to answer. I always brushed off their concern and expertly changed the subject.

One morning, when we were scheduled for an interview with Nick Grimshaw at Radio 1, Dan, our new tour manager, caught me staring at my telephone screen outside of the studio while I was having a smoke as I contemplated if I should call Brynn. I suddenly missed her. It's weird.

"Everything alright, mate?" Dan cleared his throat.

Adjusting my jacket, I looked back at him. I felt anxiety slipping into my calm exterior. He looked like he wanted to tell me something.

"Yeah, mate. Just having a fag," I smiled.

"Okay, great. Can I do a little run through for this interview before you go on? I'll only take five minutes..."

"Sure, mate."

"Okay. So I got a call from Neil, telling me that he has drafted the topics for Grimshaw to ask you," he began scrolling his phone.

Oh, dear. This will take forever to finish. It's common for our band manager to sort of give me the heads up on the questions that the interviewer's going to ask, to avoid any deer in the headlights moments I bet, but it's quite uncommon for Neil to draft the questions.

"Okay, first, he's gonna talk and ask about your album, as usual. You might wanna tell him about the few upcoming UK dates, just to keep people buzzing about it."

"Okay," I chuckled.

"Also, Grimshaw is going to ask some questions like your favourite tour moments, how Bondy got into the band, what it's like touring with a new member and etc. Also personal questions like are you guys dating anyone, especially you, since you're the frontman," he paused for a second, before glancing at me. "About that subject, Van, Neil thought it'd be best if you leave out talking about your girlfriend in interviews, even when you really have one. He thought it'd be good to keep the frontman 'available'...."

I stared at Dan with my eyes wide, jaw slightly dropped. "That's ridiculous! What the fuck!"

"I know... But Neil, you know, he's gotta make sure that people, especially girls, to you know, want to know more about the band. A single frontman always sells...."

"Look, mate. We are not fucking One Direction. I want people to love my band because of my music, not because of my relationship status! This is absurd!" I really couldn't believe that my label would treat us like we were a bunch of Hollywood stars that needed that kind of publicity to make it in the industry.

"I know. But Van, I'd like to add one more thing, if I may...."

"Sure," I tried to calm myself down.

"Neil thought that it'd be best to sort of make people think that you're involved with someone from the industry..."

"WHAT? He wants to fabricate that I am seeing someone from showbiz? But does not let me talk about a girlfriend? What the hell is this?This is not making sense, mate," I shook my head.

"Grimshaw is going to discretely tease you about Alana Haim. You know, since Haim is currently the most talked about band in the scene at the moment...."

"He wants to let people think that I like a Haim sister?" I was shaking my head and bitting my lip at the same time. "All these, are not making any sense to me, mate. I didn't know that the management would consider stooping this low! What is this? Rock & Roll matchmaking?"

"Well, Neil.... Let's just say a lot of people are doing this for publicity."

"Well, yeah. If you're a popstar! I couldn't care less about publicity or image! Music is what matters!" I seethed, before adding, "You know what, whatever mate. If Neil thinks that this sells, then he's wrong!"

"I am only doing what I was told to do, mate. I hope you understand..."

"Was Alana informed about this? Because I don't want to sound like a fucking barmy."

"Yeah, the management got her side notified and they are okay about it. I've worked with them before. She's super cool. And cute too," Dan chuckled. "Neil is not asking for you to say that you're gonna marry her. He only wants you to stir things up a little. To give the album an appropriate booster."

"Appropriate booster, huh?" I shook my head in disbelief, trying to figure out the correlation between pretending to like a girl and album sales.

"He only wants people to talk about it. Nothing drives fans crazier than two young, talented artists flirting with each other. It'll be just for fun," Dan grinned.

Sure.