Those Eyes (Camren, Camaustin fanfic)

Chapter 10: Need Some Sleep?

Lauren's POV:

"You've been awfully quiet lately." Camila tells me with a sweet smile on her face and sleepy eyes. "Are you alright?" She adds and I nod. We are driving back home and I haven't said a single word since we left the hospital. "I'm so happy Austin can go home tomorrow, I was worried as hell." Camila says laying her head against her window. I look at her, force a smile, and then I set my eyes back on the road. Does she really love him? I knew she had feelings for him, but love is a strong word. I guess my chances just went from zero to "no way in fucking hell". "Lauren please say something, you are scaring me." Camila says and puts her hand on my shoulder. Her touch makes my heart go crazy. "I'm just really tired Camz, that's it." I reply and wink at her. "Thank you for everything today Lauren, you are the best friend anyone could ask for. I would be nothing without you, seriously you are my world and I love you like the twin sister I wish I had." She adds looking at me and once again I just nod. I can't let her cuteness keep messing with my mind. And she just "Sisterzoned" me, awesome! I drive for a couple more minutes in silence and then we finally get home. As we walk to our apartment Camila holds my hand and our finger intertwine. She smiles at me and my heart melts. I love this girl so freaking much. "Thank you again Lo, I'll never be able to thank you enough." She hugs me like she never has before, her hair smells so nice. "Don't worry about it baby, I'm always going to be here for you." I reply and then we walk into our room. I can't live with this feeling any longer, its literally killing me. Camila puts on her PJs and jumps into her bed. I sit on mine and take out my laptot. I go through Tumblr and a post hits me. "Let her know how you feel before its too late." I read to myself. I have to at least give it try, if I don't then I'll regret it forever.


Camila's POV:

I'm so tired! But, whenever I close my eyes I see her. I see Lauren staring at me with her beautiful eyes, softly biting her perfect lips. I should've kissed her again when I had the chance, but I'm a fucking coward. I slightly look at her from the corner of my eye and she looks so damn beautiful. What the hell can I do? I can't fight the fact that I love her and she doesn't. What am I even doing? I'm dating Austin freaking Mahone, I should be happy and in love with him. Lauren Jauregui, you are messing me up so badly. "Hey Camzi?" I hear her voice and jump out of my thoughts. I hadn't heard her amazing voice in a while. "What's up?" I answer smiling. "You were not that bad." She says grinning. "What are you talking about Lo?" I'm so confused. "For a girl who has only kissed one guy, you were actually pretty decent." She adds giggling and staring deeply into my eyes. Fuck, she brought it up! "Thanks, I guess." I answer and she laughs. "I'm just kidding Camz, I actually kinda liked it." She says and my heart starts rushing, my hands start sweating and my head starts hurting. Is she being serious right now? What if she's joking and I fuck up by saying I liked it too. I'm blank, words don't come out of my mouth. She stares at me waiting for an answer, but nothing, I can't speak. Fuck brain, say something please! "Well, I'm so tired, good night baby, sleep tight." She says with a smile and turns around. "Good night." I manage to say softly and my voice cracks. Why didn't I say something? Maybe its for the best, things need to be the way they are right now. I'm in love with Austin, I'm not a lesbian and Lauren is just my friend. Maybe if I say that enough times I'll start to think any of it is true. I turn off the lights, close my eyes, and I try to fall asleep with Lauren's beautiful face on my mind.


Lauren's POV:

I'm so stupid! Ughh I hate myself right now. I told her I enjoyed our kiss and she said nothing. Nothing at all. I'm sure that made her incredibly uncomfortable. She clearly didn't know how to tell me she didn't like it. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, that's all I can think about, fuck me! I oficially ruined everything, and I finally got my answer, she doesn't like me like I do. I have to forget her, I can't live my whole life in love with someone who will never love me back. Can I shut down my feelings? I mean, is that even possible? I guess I'll have to, that's the only fucking way I can go through life without feeling like dying all the time. Tears start running down my face, I hate myself. Our room is completely dark, just like my heart. Then I hear a soft sob, is Camila crying too? "Hey Camz, are you alright baby?" No answer. "Camzi please say something, I need to hear your voice." At this point I can't hold back any of my tears. "Just go to sleep Lo, I'm okay." She says softly, and my heart breaks. "Camzi, I'm your best friend. I once told you you can talk to me about anything anytime. Please don't do this to me, just let me know what's going on." I tell her between sobs. She takes a deep breath. "We can't do this right now Lauren. Just forget any of this ever happened." She answers crying. How can I help her? I feel so useless. "We can't do what baby? Talk about our fucking feelings? Because I think that's exactly what we need to do. I can't lose you Camz, don't shut me out, I'm begging you." Tears soak my pillow and my heart aches. Silence fills up the room. "Camz?" I add softly. "Lauren, please stop. If you don't want to lose me then please fucking stop. Just go to sleep Lo, for me." Camila answers and every single bone in my body hurt. "But, baby I..." She cuts me off. "Don't Lauren, I'm begging you, and stop calling me that... Please." She finally says. "I love you Camila, I really do." I add and slowly close my eyes. We both continue crying for a while, and then she just stops. I'm glad she's finally sleeping, I sure as hell know I won't sleep at all tonight.