Minutes or hours passed, the solitude made it hard to tell. I refrained from returning to my old habit of counting the things around me as something to do. Instead, I chose to replay my memories. I tried to hold on to every pleasant one I still had left in me.
Unfortunately, a lot of them involved my brother. He and I had been really close at one point, but after the incident with John, and Zane’s casual dismissal of it, things between us had never been the same. I remembered a game we used to play every night before my mom hosted a big event, something we did to have fun before we were forced into the stiff roles of the Eleanor children.
The object of the game was simple: find the one object our mother would need most the next day and bring it to our secret location. The first person to have the object would have the right to order the other around for the rest of the day. We never asked for anything too extreme. We said things like “Give me a back rub” or “Break curfew and play hide and seek outside at midnight” things that only involved the two of us. The orders we gave each other turned out to be the most fun part of the game.
We always managed to get away without being caught by our parents, knowing if Mother ever found out, that all hell would be unleashed upon us. She never did.
When I turned sixteen, the games stopped. I had to spend the entire day before any event being primed and prepared for the following day as any lady of the house was. That was when the fun ended and the rift between Zane and me started forming. He withdrew from me that year, only exchanging pleasantries like two strangers.
I had missed my brother and the easy fun we had had together, even before the whole magic fiasco happened. I had cried myself to sleep regularly, feeling the gaping hole he left in my chest.
It hadn’t only been all fun and games between us. We had the kind of relationship in which we could tell each other everything. Once when the Gambit family came over, he even comforted me after Suzana Gambit made fun of me for the way my parents dressed me. I was five and words like that hurt me. I ran to a corner of the house, my parents looking everywhere for me, but being unable to find me. Zane found me easily, though, and comforted me by telling me that Suzana was only jealous because she’d never be as pretty as me. He made me laugh about it and my spirits were lifted instantly.
It was only after the tears started rolling from my eyes that I realized I shouldn’t have delved into that memory, not now. I really needed the comfort from my brother that I used to have. Sobs shook me as I realized that will never happen again. My brother was gone, forsaking me like the rest of them. And now I was going through the worst thing that had ever happened to me without a shoulder to lean on.
“Lana,” a strained voice said, immediately taking my attention from my woes. I glanced to the gate standing between me and freedom as the body belonging to the voice stepped into focus.
I almost couldn’t believe it. Zane was standing, awkwardly, outside my cell, his hands nervously playing at the hems of his long sleeves. “Zane,” I choked.
“Hey there little sister,” he said, but averted his eyes. “I realize that… we need to talk… and I don’t know when else we will have an opportunity to do this… and it’s probably all my fault, and god, Lana, I’m so sorry! I never meant for this to happen… I didn’t want to make you feel so alone… I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you… if only I had known… I would’ve protected you before they realized… but then it was too late… and I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” tears were streaming down his face as he sunk to his knees, his words coming out, barely intelligible.
I walked over to him, even thought I was unsure what was happening. My hands gripped tightly onto the cold, smooth bars. “Why are you apologizing, Zane? What is going on? Why are you here?” I asked, harshly as I recalled how badly he had hurt me.
He swallowed once and raised his eyes to mine, a thousand emotions playing in his. “I’m apologizing for everything. For abandoning you… for making you think I didn’t care anymore… it was just… easier to push you away. I thought I was protecting you, but instead I left you vulnerable. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That you were a witch! If I had found out before our parents, I would have helped you hide it from them!”
“Why would you do that?” I demanded, my throat constricted. I didn’t want to believe he still cared for me. It meant that everything I had been telling myself for the past months wasn’t true. That someone I loved still cared about me. I needed proof before I would let that hope blossom inside me.
“Because you are my sister, and I love you. No matter what. I didn’t mean to make you think I hate you, Lana. But if they had found out… I would be sitting in there with you. Oh god, this is all messed up! It should be me in there! Not you! I should have helped you!”
“Zane, you aren’t making sense.”
“Lana, I didn’t know… I swear. I thought it was just me…. I couldn’t have guessed you had magic too.” His words didn’t fully register. It wasn’t possible. Of all the strange things that could have happened, this was not one of them.
“Zane, what are you talking about?” I asked cautiously, waiting for him to confirm my suspicions.
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You remember when you turned sixteen and we stopped spending so much time together… and how I withdrew?” he asked as if I could forget. I simply nodded, too afraid if I said something that everything will come crashing down around us.
“I had been feeling strange for a while, so I decided to experiment… with magic… just to see if my suspicions were correct.” He paused again, looking straight into my eyes.
I nodded for him to keep going.
“It worked. It was far from perfect, the spell I attempted, but it worked. I couldn’t believe it… and at first I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to tell you. And then I remembered…. I remembered everything. I realized if I told anyone, I would be killed, sentenced to death. I was torn, a lifeless being as I walked around the house submerged in my doubts. I withdrew from everyone, knowing everything would be safer that way. I had to stay away from you too in case someone found out… so they would never think you helped me. So you would stay safe.”
“Zane…” I choked again, my voice strained. “What are you saying?”
He covered my cold hands with his, trying to lend me some of his strength. “I’m a sorcerer, Lana. I can use magic just like you.” I acted out of impulse, no longer in control of my body. I reached my hand through the bars and I slapped him.
YOU ARE READING
A Necessary Evil (Book 1)
Fantasy**One can be evil, and still have a good heart, just as one can be good but still have a heart tainted by evil.** "There was an undeniable comfort and stability in a stable future, at having every detail of your life meticulously planned out. But ev...
