Makes Me Feel Alive

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~Opening Day~
4 am
I rolled over in bed, unable to get any rest. I tossed and turned all the previous night. I let my feet dangle on the side and my shoulders let my head drop down exhausted. I held my hair back as I hunched over. Getting the word out about Neverland and fishing the finishing touches to open the doors was awful.
People would spit on our shoes when we'd give them our flyers. People would scream and hug our necks. Some would cut their eyes in that hateful sort of way. We had a party of twenty coming for this first weekend. About eleven girls and nine guys. Each cut from a different cloth, each with a different story. Some we knew, some we didn't. I was excited to meet them all, even though the exterior didnt tell that story. The biggest thing that hung over my head this morning was knowing Michael couldn't be here to celebrate with us. Before a tear began to wet my cheek the dilly dilly chime begins to play over my shoulder. I couldn't get away with one good cry in this house, not that I'm taking that for granted. In my ear like a gentle whisper, I hear,
"Tough night little dove?"
Michael's ghostly presence chilled my skin and I said, "I've never been so excited but restless at the same time Michael. Today is the big day. And I don't know if I have even the energy to be happy like everyone else."
I feel the bed side next to me sink down and slowly forming into a person with shoulders and a torso then legs was Michael's spirit, swirling like the beautiful dancing smoke I've mention before. I've never seen him form into apparition before.
He came into full form and he turns to me,
"What's wrong Dee? I don't use my omnipotence to read minds."
I felt my lip quiver and told him, "You're gone. That's always what's been wrong. For years now and years then, it's always been you not being here. To help me get out of bed in the morning, to teach me when I'm wrong."
I became a sobbing mess and covered my face.
"Michael you might not think the same but the world has been different since you've left. Atleast I know for sure mine has, and Shan's and Faith's. This was more than a day trip for us, this was our chance to give something to you Michael. After giving us so much in our lifetime. Don't you see?"
I hunched back over feeling broken as I sobbed back into my hands.
In my grief I felt a warm hand on my back. I sniffed confused and turned to him. He held out his arms and then pulled me into a strange embrace. I say strange because, there wasn't frigid temperatures lining his skin. His eyes didn't have that ghostly glow surrounding his pupils. As I leaned to his chest, I heard something that sounded like breath. Air moving to his lungs, and what more was a heartbeat. The rhythm I never thought I would hear
"What is this?" I asked him and he replies, "Only an illusion. This is a trick I've learned. Can I tell you something?"
I nodded still having my ear on his chest and I hear him say,
"I've never felt more alive than when I'm loved by you and so many. Seeing you love Neverland just as much, if not more than me gives me air to breathe and a pulse to thrive. Neverland is my home. I'll never belong anywhere else. And seeing it so beautiful just like it was when I had a heart to still beat, it makes me feel alive."
I blinked away a tear and looked up to him. I smiled and he continues, "While you live here with me, you girls will never be alone. I don't want you to feel alone. I'm always here. Even if you can't see me Dee. Whether invisible or locked inside your heart, I'm there."
I felt vulnerable as I tried to smile and ask, "You promise?"
He smirks and nods, "I swear to it."
In a rush of that familiar cold air, he kisses my forehead with frigid lips. The translucency returning to his appearance, his eyes drain into the silver ghostly glow as his energy to become full bodied dies down.
I sit back with my hands to myself and say, "Thank you Michael."
He smiles, "Get some rest. I'll be here when the gates are open Dee..."
I lie back down in the bed as his figure danced away in its beautiful ominous smoke and I smiled wide. In my ear as a soft whisper I hear Michael sing,
"If you love me... dilly dilly.."

"I will love you..." I sang back before falling asleep.
9 am~
I stormed down the stairs in my pants suit. I spoke to Shan on the walkie as she was stationed outside to open the gates on my cue. Faith and I raced to the front steps to greet everyone and getting their we cued to her,
"Open the gates Shan.."

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