Worthless

Confusion

   I start to panic as I'm called to the office at my new school, that I love dearly. I open the office door and the sent me to Cheyenne's office.
    "Ok, yes thank you. Mhm, bye" she put the phone down and motioned her hand to have me sit down at her table. It's only been a month at least. What could I have done wrong. She gives me a warm smile and I return a more nervous one.
    She looked at me in a certain way. Not really a bad way but it seemed as if she could read me like a book.
  She giggled
"Relax. Your not in trouble"
    I sigh in relief.
"I just recently found out that you used to do tutoring for math at your old school and, not to offend you in any way, but you aren't necessarily doing to well in math here. So we've decided to give you a tutor, if you'd like one" she said.
    "Yea sure" I say happy to meet someone new.
    "Great. Uhm, actually. I think he is one grade above you" she says scrolling her computer mouse, browsing through different files.  

     "Wait, he?" I ask. She nods her head not looking away from her computer. Okay, boy tutor. Not a big deal. Sucks it isn't Mark, he's in my grade.
Then she nods to her computer screen and turns to me.
"He's a very nice young boy. Quite excellent in math too. He'll be perfect help"
I nod.
"Great, so just a couple things. When and where do I have tutoring?" I ask her.
"Tuesday's and Wednesday's. Sometimes Thursdays but very rarely. Starts at 3:15 and it ends at 4:10. In the art class. Mrs, Haden will be in there sometimes but she won't bother you"
I laugh "cool, cool but who is he?" I ask.
She peeks back at her computer.
"Uhm, Sean Mcgloughlin" she says.
"Cool" I say.
"Here's a paper to remind you and you can head on back to class"

"Ok and thanks" I say grabbing her door nob.
"Oops. Almost forgot. You start this Wednesday" she says.
"Ok thanks. See ya" I say closing the door and going back to science.

I go back to science class thinking about mark. Something strange has been going on. He hasn't been at school the past couple of weeks. He hasn't been replying to my texts either. Maybe he's sick.

    That's what I tell myself. I spent the rest of the day thinking about him. Wishing he was sitting there next to me in science.

But now It's tomorrow. Tuesday, I mean.

And I'm meeting my tutor tomorrow. So, here I am now at lunch with Kelly and Masháe getting ready to go to break period. I've been noticing some weird behavior with Kelly. She's been very clingy lately. Always sitting right next to me at lunch instead of across like normal, dropping compliments at the most random of times, and she's been very.....I don't know, giddy I should say. Not that it bugs me or anything, it's just very out of the ordinary.

"Oh, Avery. I forgot, uhm. Can I talk to you during break period?" She turned to me suddenly and Masháe gave her a smirk.
Kelly blushed. Stuck in confusion, I told her

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure" Her face lit up and she smiled.

"Great!" She cheered.

The bell rang sooner than I expected. As I walked to the trash cans to throw my tray away, I saw Masháe rush to her side and whisper in her ear. They both returned smiles. Masháe a smug one and Kelly a shy one. Kelly rushed to my side and Masháe stayed lost in the crowd and we walked down the hallway.
    The bell rang and it was officially break period. Everyone in my grade and the grade above us was to go to the gym. Most of the kids check out at the office, get in their cars, and go to the park or go someplace else. As long at their back before their next period starts then they are allowed leave.
     I opened the door to the gym and at the same time I felt Kelly grab my hand and squeeze. She pulled me away from the door. I looked at her and she shook her head. "Bathroom" she says.
    My heart started beating and I started to panic inside and she lead me to the restroom. We had finally walked in and I leaned against the sink as she paced around for a small bit. Until she faced me and said
  "Uhm, so, uhm" she started to stutter and her voice was shaking. Something about this behavior was just so adorable. Her face was a bright red, just like when we met by the road when I was walking to my house. Her shiny red bangs hung down in her face, covering her left eye. She held her hands in front of her, trying to lock her hands together, but they shook so much she couldn't.
    "Uhm, I hope you don't feel differently about me that I'm like this but-" she stopped and covered it over with "And I don't mind if you don't feel the same way, I just feel like I should tell you that, uhm. I'm a uh"
    She stopped and I reached out and stroked her arm. "It's okay. You can tell me whatever it is" I say trying to calm her down. She smiles and I start to feel warm inside.
     "I'm a l-lesb- an" she stuttered. "I'm lesbian"
    I get this weird feeling in my chest. The kind of feeling I get when ...........
             Marks near.
        Her eyes start to tear up and I smile.
    "Don't cry" I pull her in for a hug. As we hug she sobs.
    "I don't care if your lesbian. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like you"

      Still sobbing into my shoulder she says "That's not the only thing though" she buries her face in my neck.
      I stroke her long, shiny, beautiful, red hair. "What is it then?" I ask. She cries even more.
     "I think, I-" she stops.
"I think, I like you" she whispers. My heart started beating at a rapid pace, my face froze and I felt weird. I felt confused and worried but at the same time, I felt warm, fuzzy and happy. I giggled a little and smiled. What's going on with me. There's so many thoughts racing through my head, so many emotions. I've never liked another girl, ever. Do I- Am I?
No. Then what's this behavior. Why am I acting like this. It's almost like I lost control of my actions.