The Prince's Tale

Struggles

He hadn't meant to hurt her. He had least of all any intentions of bringing her along. But he simply didn't have a choice.
When he had crawled out from the small crevice in the Whomping Willow that led to the Shrieking Shack, Severus found himself in a field that resembled a battle field. He knew by the quietness that the battle was over. All over. He knew by the peace that lay on the grounds that Harry Potter had won. If it had been the Death Eaters the place would have still been a chaos. Bellatrix would be sure of that, he thought, if she had survived the battle. If the battle was won, that meant he was no longer needed. His job was done. He had helped save Harry Potter. He knew he wasn't the only one, so he did not flatter himself with any thoughts of heroism or praise. Harry Potter had seen him die, and it would spread around that he was a fallen hero. Now, when he thought about it, maybe it was better that way. What would he do now, if he revealed to the Wizarding World that he was still alive? Maybe they'd make him an Auror. They'd praise him for his bravery. They'd be sorry they had mistrusted him. He didn't need any of that.
On second thought, if Harry Potter did not tell them anything, he would still be a Death Eater in their eyes, and what's more, a Death Eater who lost the war and murdered the most powerful Wizard that ever lived. He would probably be under arrest and spend the rest of his life in Azkaban. He didn't want that either.
Whatever he was, hero or criminal, Snape was willing to flee. Not because he was scared, but because he simply had enough. Let them believe he was dead.
And then behind him he heard a sudden crashing sound and turned around to find the girl who had been following him since his teaching days in Hogwarts. The fool. Did she really follow him all this way?
She had stared at him in horror, as if he was a ghost back from the dead. Well, in her eyes, he probably was. He knew she was going to scream, and he moved impulsively to limit her free movements. A quick glance at her fallen possessions led him to the conclusion that she was fleeing as well. He knew what her profession was, even though she was never allowed to tell him. He wasn't an idiot. He knew that now that she had seen him, she would definitely report it to the Ministry. Just think how much popularity that would bring that insignificant skunk. That would not do, she would spoil his plans.
He could obliviate her, but he wasn't that cruel.
Panicked by his sudden moves, she had begun protesting and making it more complicated. He had to think fast. He was weak and he knew it. If he wanted to get away, he'd have to do it quickly. And then he'd have to carry all this burden. When she started screaming for help, Severus had no choice but to stifle her. He hadn't meant to do it so hard. But her fear was blinding him too, and he had to admit, he was feeling afraid himself. He had never once stopped to think what would be after the Dark Lord was defeated. He never once thought of his future. He never even thought there was a future. Only that he had to keep Lily Potter's son safe.
And now that he had done it, he didn't know what to do. He had struggled to stay alive after the Dark Lord had tried to kill him with the snake. He didn't understand exactly why the snake bite hadn't killed him with poison, if not due to blood loss, but he knew that fighting alone would not be enough. He needed help.
He had crawled out of the Shrieking Shack, his body weak, his mind unclear. He had no clear plan mapped out in his head. But he had definitely not considered this extra burden on the way. He should have known. He should have been more careful.
Except that he knew nothing when he had got out. He did not know if the war was going on or if it was over. He had felt on his dark mark some sort of fall of the Dark Lord, but he was too delirious to focus on it.
When he felt the girl go limp, panick struck him. He felt her pulse if she was still breathing, and then unsteadily stood up. He could hardly pick himself up, let alone the girl and her belongings. He didn't think of bringing these along out of kindness, but out of the need that told him that he must remove all traces of her. No one would miss her, he knew that. But if she stayed, she could create a chaos for him.
He picked her up, struggling with the weight, and he felt his legs buckle under him. This was going to be harder than he thought. He knew he had to get just outside the gate in order to finally apparate. But how was he going to get there?
Not wanting to risk being discovered yet again, Severus decided he would slither and crawl low at the ground so that he could remain unseen. And that's exactly what he did. Those were one of the most strenuous moments of his life. He had several times considered leaving the girl behind so he could make a run for it. This was all too slow. Damn her.
But he didn't leave her. Every time he had crawled some way he had turned around to drag her with him. He was just hoping she wouldn't regain her consciousness, or she might cause trouble. He thought of binding her, but that wouldn't be quite necessary yet.
When he had finally made his way out of the front gate, he was afraid people might be bustling around, but there was nobody in sight. They were all probably inside, inspecting all the damage that had been caused. Safely out of the gate, Severus grasped the girl and her belongings and apparated, landing in the middle of his living room at Spinners End. There was no other place he could think of. He stumbled and his burden fell with him and for a while he lay panting, feeling the pain weakening him more and more by the second. The girl was still unconscious. Too tired to move he used a levitation charm to lift her on the couch.
He used up the last of his energy to pick himself up and stumbling, led himself to another room. He probed the walls for support, feeling more and more dizzy by the minute. He searched his wand inside his robes just to make sure his was still okay, and that was when he felt himself tripping and holding the small table next to the rickety old bed for support, dropping his wand in the process. He felt his body slumping, and then falling...falling...
And then he fainted.