chapter twenty one

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/ @ tøp fans, pls don't spam about chapter number also wow I've updated again in less than two months /

phil

Phil doesn't see Dan the next day at school.

Usually, the boy will run straight over to Phil, or at least text him when he isn't coming to school, so Phil finds his mind slowly seeping into 'panic! panic! panic!' mode and he can't seem to relax at all. His fingers are relentlessly tapping an out-of-time beat which is driving the person next to him slowly but steadily insane, his eyes are darting everywhere, seeking a distraction for his brain...

"Hey, Phil, will you please stop tapping?" this girl, Dodie, asks from beside Phil, pushing large glasses up her nose before frowning slightly at him, "your mood looks worried, are you oaky?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Phil replies, "my friend just didn't show up today, and I'm worried about him."

"Well, you should call or text him, make sure he's okay, which I'm sure he will be," she says with a smile, her eyes shining behind a layer of dark, mascara coated eyelashes.

"Thanks, I will," Phil replies, watching as her mood changes to a smile, and later a musical note as she writes in the back of her book and softly hums an unfamiliar tune.

Phil then proceeds to watch the clock, each time the second hand ticks a little more around the face of the clock, it seems to move a fraction slower. This is making it almost agonising for Phil, as he feels his mind basically wanting to jump out of his skull and scream - that is, if brains could physically do that. Instead, Phil looks up to see his mood is going basically insane. It's a large, attention drawing exclamation mark which is bouncing up and down above Phil, causing him to be a distraction for the other students in his class, more specifically those located behind him.

"Phil, I know that ancient history is not the most exciting subject, but could you please try to not be so distracted that your mood is distracting others? If you need to, you can sit outside for a while," the teacher says to him, turning around and looking at him with a concerned-but-professional look painted on his features; one which he would've used often in his lifetime of teaching.

"Okay, I might just... Step outside," Phil says, getting up quickly and walking towards the door, his shaking fingers grasping the cold metal handle and soon he's out in the empty corridor, breathing out a sigh of relief.

He doesn't know why he's so worked up and worried, he would usually be fine in this situation. But deep down, Phil knows that he isn't the same person he used to be; something has changed inside of him. Maybe it's because he no longer sees the world as this wonderful place full of happiness and smiles, maybe it's because there's this small piece of darkness trapped inside of him which no amount of light can seem to get rid of, or maybe he's just terrified of himself.

Phil walks to the bathroom, where he pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts until he finds Dan. He clicks call and lifts the phone to his ear, begging for Dan to pick up every time the empty, agonising sound of a phone ringing echoes inside his ear. He begins to pace around the grimy bathroom, underneath the flickering fluorescent lights.

After the seventh ring, Dan picks up and Phil sighs in relief.

"Dan! You're okay!" Phil says happily, closing his eyes.

"Y-yeah," Dan replies, his voice crackling and muffled through the phone, "I just s-slept through m-my alarm. N-nothing to worry about b-but I think I-I will just stay home t-today."

"Oh, okay," Phil says, "well I'd better head to class, I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I-I l-l-love you t-t-too," Dan replies softly before the line goes dead and Phil is left with nothing but the sound of the light flickering at random intervals.

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