The REAL Dream Team.

the plights & perils of karan johar

"So yeah the trick is to mix those three up. When Kapoor & Sons was about to release, I planted Sid and Alia hookup rumors. Then when it did release, breakup. So when Badri's about to release, I just gotta plant some Varun and Alia rumors, like during Humpty. Movie releases, then BAM! Breakup again! And then for Aashiqui 3, repeat the cycle. . .Shahrukh are you even listening?" Karan whined.

"Uh huh," Shahrukh said in a bored tone. Karan had decided to hold an important business meeting today while the kids and Katrina were gone. Karan's mother had ditched the meeting, so of course Shahrukh had decided to pay him a pity visit.

I knew it was too good to be true when I ditched this team for California, King Khan thought bitterly.

"SHAHRUKH!" Karan hit his fist on the table covered in papers irritably. "Listen! I have to keep making plans!"

"Okay, okay," he sighed. "Continue."

"Right, where was I? Oh yes," Kjo stroked his imaginary beard (the man physically never grew facial hair). "I need to plan Koffee With Karan next! So here's the list of guests." He cleared his throat.

"First episode, Alia and Shahrukh.

Second episode, Alia, Varun, and Sid.

Third episode, Alia and Aishwarya.

Fourth episode, Alia and Fawad.

Fifth episode, Alia and Kareena.

Season finale, Alia."

Shahrukh shook his head. "I'm not even going to question you."

Suddenly, Alia walked in. Spotting Shahrukh, she gasped loudly and stopped with a start. "Wait, you're my daddy!"

Shahrukh sighed for umpteenth time. "Alia, I'm not your daddy."

She pouted. "Don't you play my daddy in our movie?"

"I'm your therapist," he said tiredly. Between Karan and all these kids, he was definitely planning early retirement. 

Oh, who was he kidding? The king never retired.

"Ohhhh right," she said slowly, nodding. "You play my therapist in the movie!"

"No, Alia. I'm your actual therapist." Shahrukh thought back to the time Karan had paid him for it.

"Right. So, what's up, Daddy?" she asked Karan, who stared at her adoringly.

"Nothing, baby, my sweetheart, the apple of my eye!" Karan said dramatically as Shahrukh quietly, stealthily got up, and ran out the door to get the hell out of there. 

"Just planning the last show! Tomorrow! It's going to be great!"

. . .

almost there guys, thanks for your patience <3

- meenal.