Captain Swan: Fighting our demons

The Test

(Emma's Pov)
Positive

I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have baby. I'm so excited. Fuck. Wait. What will Killian say? Does he want a baby? I know he wants a baby we talked about it. But does he want one now? What if he leaves me?

He's going to leave you.

No he's not. He'll stay. He loves me.

He doesn't want you. Your broken. You can't be loved.

Emma calm yourself down. You know Killian loves you. Don't let these demons in your head tell you otherwise.

You know he doesn't love you. Who could? All you are is a orphan. Even he told you that.

That wasn't him. That was the dark one. He had apologized so much for that. He didn't mean it. He loves me. He will always love me.

You should run. Before he can leave you leave him.

"I'm not running!" I yell. Fuck. I said that out loud.

"Swan? You okay, love? You've been in there a while?" Killian asks.

"I'm fine. I was yelling at a game on my phone." I lie.

"Swan. You lying to me, but you can tell me in your own time. Okay? Just tell me sometime, love. I'll leave you be." Killian says to me. I can hear disappointment lace his voice.

You have to run. He's already disappointed. Run.

I'm not gonna run. I have my whole family here. They'll support me. Killian will support me.

What ever helps you sleep at night.

I can't listen to my demons in my head. I have to keep going.

I wash my hands and leave the bathroom. I have the test in my zippered up coat pocket. I see Killian on the love seat with his head in his hands.

You made him feel this way. Your breaking him already. You need to leave. Learn before you hurt him more.

The voice was right. I made him like this. He's upset because of me.

"I'm sorry, Killian." I say just above a whisper.

"There's nothing to be sorry for love. I just want to make sure your okay." Killian says as he gets of the couch and makes his way over to me.

His cheeks are wet with tears.

You made him cry.

"You were crying?" I ask him.

"Aye, but tears of joy. I was on the phone with your father and he said Liam showed up at the loft." Killian said with a smile.

"The Liam that hates my guts?" I ask in horror.

"He doesn't hate you. He's just a little protective." Killian tells me.

Liam will want you gone.

"We're having a party tonight at granny's. Just for fun. Liam's gonna be over soon, love." Killian says to me.

He's coming over. You look like literally shit.

"Oh and I made you some hot chocolate. With cinnamon." Killian says as he picks up a glass from the table.

I take the glass and almost vomit immediately. Killian noticed me trying not to hurl.

"Did I make it wrong?" Killian asks full of concern.

"No. It's smells perfectly normal it's just I'm not feeling a hundred percent right now and the smell of it makes me want to vomit. It's not your fault." I say to him as I put the glass down.

"Well if your not feeling well maybe you should go to bed. Do you think some rest will help?" Killian asks full of concern.

"No I'm fine. I'm just gonna go change into something a little nicer before Liam gets here." I say as I turn around to go up the stairs.

"Okay, love." Killian says to me from downstairs. I run to our room and look for something nice. I find a red lace dress. Too dressy.

I finally pick out a black high waisted skirt with a white crop top. The top has lace covering the whole thing and it also goes down to make sleeves. It's not to dressy but it's nice. I but on some black booties and put my hair down. My hairs naturally wavy so I leave it.

I throw in some winged eyeliner and some mascara. I put in a red lip tint to finish of the look.

Then I notice it. The bump. I'm already showing. Fuck. I must be farther along then I thought. I must be around 3-4 months.

Killian will figure it out.

I know he will. I'll tell him after the party.

I'm gonna laugh when he walks away.

He won't walk away.