I am Here

Run Away

I was waiting by the flagpole for Eric. He doesn't usually walk me home, but today was different. I needed to tell hike about my mom, I just had to. I checked my watch for the third time in the past two minutes. Time seemed to drag by slowly, every second feeling like a minute to me. Finally, I saw him headed towards me. I smiled nervously as he reached me and we started to walk. "So, what is it you were so sad about earlier?" He asked concern in his eyes. I looked at him, and I couldn't help it. The tears started to flow. He immediately pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapping around my shoulders. We stood like that for a moment, my face buried in the crook of his neck. I finally lifted my head and wiped some tears away. "It's, it's my mom. She has cancer" I barely choked out. My heart clenched as I said it, I had been barely holding it in these past few months. His eyes widened as he pulled me close to him again. "Oh Ada, I'm so sorry" I sobbed into his chest. I had no idea what I was going to do. It was as if I'm that moment, I was completely weak. I couldn't do anything but cry. Sobbing loudly, I lifted my head to meet his eyes with my own. "I-I don't know what I'm going to do, she was always there for me, and now, she going to be gone..." I said. "All I can Ada, is that I'm right here for you, and I'll always be here. No matter what." I smiled through my tears at him, wiping tears away with my sleeves. "Thanks Eric, I really don't know what I would do without you" He smiled back at me and we started walking. He had his arm wrapped around me the whole time, so I could lean into him. We reached my driveway. I looked up at him again. Every time we got here it was like this, the awkward goodbye." I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school" I said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. He nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you then" He then quickly leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips before turning around and walking away. I smiled at his back before turning to head up my driveway and to my house.

Opening the front doors up slowly, I set my bag down and looked around. Not seeing anyone, I moved towards the kitchen to grab something to eat. Thinking maybe if I got food in me I wouldn't be as nervous. Grabbing an apple from the fridge and heading up the stairs towards my mom's room. I was praying my dad wasn't home, and that tonight could go smoothly. I opened the door slowly, poking my head in. "Mom?" I quietly said into the room. I heard sniffles coming from her bathroom. "Here" I heard her say. I walked into the bathroom softly. I saw her sitting on the edge of her tub, her face in her hands, crying softly. "Mom, is everything ok?" I asked quietly, moving to sit next to her. "No, it's not really ok, I have to tell the rest of my children I'm going to die soon from an illness I can't cure, I don't think I can do it Ada" she was shaking and sobbing now. "Oh mom, I know you can do this, I believe you can do it." She tried to smile weakly at me, but she just couldn't through her tears. "Ada, don't worry about me, you don't have to keep telling me everything's going to be ok. Because I know it's not, I'm going to die soon, and you have to stop denying that. The sooner you accept that fact, it will be easier to let me go." I sat there, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth. I didn't even know that's what I was feeling, how on earth did she know exactly what to say. "I, mom, I'm sorry. It's just so hard for me to take everything all in, I just wish it was me instead, you don't deserve all this" She looked at me sadly. "Ada, honey, don't say that, if there's a God out there, he has a plan for all of us, maybe me dying is part of a plan that we just don't understand yet." I smiled at her, of course she would say something like that, it's just how she was. I hugged her tightly, wishing all of it would just go away. Nobody deserved anything like this at all. But my mom had to suffer through it all. I sighed, and looked at my watch.

"I'm going to go take a shower and do some homework, Kara and Milo should be home in about an hour, are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked, touching her shoulder. "I'm ready" she said, touching my hand and smiling. I nodded and moved to the door. As I got to my room, I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was sick of tears, I've been crying so much lately, you'd think my tear ducts had dried out. But no, it seems I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. And that sucked, especially with what I was going through. Crying so often during times like these, can be very tiring. I sighed as I opened my door, closing it and walking to my bed before flopping onto it , exhausted emotionally and physically. I stuck my ear buds in my ears and started to listen to music as I read through some of textbooks. But I couldn't concentrate. Not with what was going to happen tonight. I wish I could just forget about it till it happens, but I was so anxious about everything. My heart was beating fast in my chest and I kept checking the window to see if I could see them coming home. Finally, after about an hour, I saw my sisters car pull up the driveway. Jumping up from my bed I took a deep breath and paced around my room for a while. I just wanted to get this over with. "Ada!" I heard my mom call from downstairs. I took another breath and left my room.

Reaching the living room, I saw Milo and Kara sitting on the couch. Kara looked bored out of her mind. And Milo looked extremely nervous. I took my place next to them. My mom was sitting on the couch across from us. I noticed her hands were shaking. I tried to give her a small smile. She nodded at me before turning towards the twins. "Milo, Kara, I wanted you guys to be here today because I have something really important to tell you." I held my breath. "About a year ago, I found out I had cancer" I heard Kara take in a sharp breath. "The doctors thought they could cure it, they have given me drug after drug. But nothing is working." A year slipped down her cheek. I wanted to go up there and put my arms around her, but we had agreed to pretend I didn't know either. I was trying very hard not to cry. I looked over and saw Milos features pinched together, his eyes watering. Kara had her hand over her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks. "They say I only have about three months left to live, and I know I should have told you sooner. But I felt guilty, as if telling you would ruin your lives. But I realize now, not telling made it worse." All of the sudden, Kara sprung up off the couch and hugged my mom, sobbing loudly. Milo let a tear fall down his face. And I sat there crying silently. Then I pulled myself up to go over and join the hug. My mom was shaking and crying, holding us there on the couch. "Oh mom..." Kara said, looking up and wiping her eyes. "I love you so much, I don't know what to do" she then hugged her again, shaking with every breath as she sobbed. Milo the stood up and walked  over, putting his hand on my mom's shoulder gently. We all sat there for who knows how long.

Until finally, we heard the front door open. And there stood my dad, his eyes snapping with anger. "What the hell are you all crying about?" He snapped, moving towards us. We tried to quickly wipe the tears out of our eyes. My mom sank into the couch." I told them something important, and you need to know this as well." My dad hugged and sat in the leather chair away from us all. My mom took a deep breath. "Just spit it, if it's so important" My dad said harshly. "I have cancer, Elliot, cancer. And I only have three months to live. Three damn months" That surprised me, my mother never swore. He sat there unblinking. He locked eyes with her harshly. "So?" Kara gasped in shock. "So, that's all you're going to say? So? She's dying dad, couldn't you at least care that she's dying?" His eyes narrowed towards her. "You better watch that mouth of yours young lady. I thought I raised you better than to talk back like that." She lowered her head, tears falling fast down her cheeks. I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted to say some moving amazing words that would help everyone, but the words wouldn't come. I sat there, tongue tied. Suddenly, I heard someone speak. "She's your wife, don't you love her at all to care when she's dying. She's going to be gone dad, and you don't even care. I'm sick of you treating her like garbage." I realized it was myself. Taking a deep breath, I kept going. "She doesn't deserve this dad, you sneaking around with maids behind her back, when has she ever done something to hurt you, ever? Nothing, she's treated you with love your whole life, and you spit it back in her face!" I was yelling now. "I'm done with it dad, you need to stop!" He looked at me, pure hatred in his eyes. He stood up and walked towards me. Picking me up by the arm he started to drag me across the room. He lifted up his hand and smacked me across the face. "That's what you get for talking back, I didn't think I raised my daughter to act like this" I glared at him, and then I felt his fist connect with my stomach. Grunting I fell to the floor. Where he kicked my side, then turned around and left the room.

I laid there for a while, gasping in short breaths through the pain. And then I realized what I had to do. Running up to my room, I grabbed a huge suitcase and started stuffing as many clothes into as I could. Racing into my bathroom I grabbed a plastic bag and stick all my hair are and toiletry items in it. Throwing it in the suitcase, I grabbed a winter coat, throw it on, and head down the stairs. Once I made it to the front door, I pulled paper and a pen out of my pocket. Writing on it quickly, I left in the table. Taking a deep breath, I opened the front door and walked outside. I then sprinted down the driveway. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I wasn't going to stay there. I the remembered the huge woods to the right side of my house. Slowing down, I started to walk towards it. It had always creeped me out as a child, I always thought I would hear voices or see things move. It used to be where the teenagers of the town hung out, but then it became "boring" because it didn't have good or wifi. I sighed and walked into them slowly. Suddenly, I was 7 again, climbing the trees, running through leaves. Sighing, I walked deeper and deeper into the woods. I didn't know how or where I was going to live, but it sure as hell wasn't back home.