antihero. - bellamy blake

10.

The whole camp was silent when Lil woke up. There was a sense of deja vu when she felt Bellamy's arms around her, pressing her against his chest. The air and the metal she was laying on was freezing, but it felt like Bellamy's body radiated heat, and invaded hers.

She untangled herself from him and sat down, watching him. When he slept, it his frowns and his worries were all swept away. He snored lightly, his chest falling and rising slowly. She smiled softly at the innocence he had when he was asleep. She studied his freckles, that invaded his cheeks like the constellations he had told her so passionately about.

He smiled at her when he woke up. Not a cocky, teasing smile. A genuine, caring smile. He sat down next to her, and slung his arm around her shoulder, pushing her against him.

-I think this could become our thing." his voice was raspy from sleep, and incredibly sexy.

-What? Us sleeping in unusual places after I cry myself to sleep?" Bellamy laughed.

-Minus the cry yourself to sleep, and it's perfect."

-I'll try my best." They stayed in silence for a while more, not an awkward silence, a comfortable, "I enjoy your company" silence.

Bellamy was the first to break it.

-So you're not telling me why you were crying?" Lil shook her head.

-I just... No. Not now. I can't let myself be weak." he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

-You're not weak, you're the strongest person I know. And if this is because you don't trust me, I'm sorry you don't, Im sorry I don't seem trustworthy." Lil took a deep breath.

-Bellamy it's not that. It's just, I hate crying. I hate being weak. It's not that I don't trust you, I don't trust myself either. I don't think I'm ready to admit it to myself."

-Admit what, Lil?" Bellamy looked so intent, looking into her eyes. He was trying to help her, and she was grateful for that, she was grateful for him.

-Admit what the hell is going on in my head.

                                 ***
Instead of having to think about what was going on in between her and Bellamy, and the battlefield in her head, Lil started working on the radio. Neither Monty nor Raven were awake yet, so she was alone.

She had been working for a few hours when she heard someone arrive behind her. She didn't turn around, worried that it would be Bellamy, with whom she didn't want to talk, in case they had to talk about this morning.

She finally turned around, and was greeted by Jasper. She was slightly surprised, they never really talked.

-Hey Lil" he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to interrupt her silent work.

-Hey." she smiled, she didn't know what to say, how to act around him, or why he was talking to her.

-I guess you're wondering why I'm here, I mean I'm kind of a loser." Lil laughed.

-This is loser central, Jasper. I'm number 1 Ark trash, nice to meet you." he grinned at her self depreciating joke "We're all criminals here, bottom of the Ark aristocracy scale, so don't feel like you're the only loser here" she grinned "No offense."

-None taken" Jasper smiled. "Anyway, I'm here because I never really got the chance to thank you for saving me. I mean we didn't really know each other, so yeah. It was cool of you."

-Wow, it feels like ages ago now!" she laughed. "But yeah don't sweat it. I was a badass bitch, and Bellamy and John were being annoying, I was there to kick their asses to get to you." Jasper laughed again and sat down next to her.