fourteen | idiot

409 22 17
                                    

—September 8th—

"Damn it." She whispered to herself in frustration. It was late at night and all Rowan could do was produce a long string of swears as she pushed to get the door open. Drew had given her three keys, knowing one was the house key and the irritating noise of the creaky dog door didn't help her think. One was for the apartment in emergencies, one was for his mom's place so she could help if he wasn't there, and one was for a storage locker she bought for him on his twentieth birthday because he needed one. And why for god's sake did she keep them all on the same stupid chain?

The first key, a rusted, copper key, didn't fit into the keyhole. So the girl quickly proceeded to the next key. This key was obviously wrong and had the storage locker number on it. And the third key, a silver key was fortunate enough to be the right key but unfortunate enough to get jammed. She twisted the key clockwise and counter-clockwise, pulled and pushed, and did everything she could as she held in as much anger and fear as possible so she wouldn't wake their neighbors. 

"Why won't Michael pick up the phone?" Rowan seethed. Without a way in, her desperation only grew.

Eventually, she gritted her teeth and took a deep breath; as she was about to do something she could regret. She backed away from the door and thought about all the taekwondo classes she took in high school. Her mother always insisted on her finding a way to defend herself and until now, she had never found a use for the skill. The short-haired girl swiftly thrust her knee forward, landing near a more rusted hinge of the door. It didn't break all at once, as Rowan had to throw her shoulder against the same spot a couple more times before a gap in the splintered wood appeared. She quickly put her hand through the door and reached for the lock. Her actions proved successful as she undid the lock from the inside, using all her will to ignore the shard of wood stabbing her in the rib cage as she stretched. 

At this point, people were out of their rooms and watching her every action. Some gasped and were confused at what was unveiled before them. Others were hesitant to call the police or to go help her. There was even a group who voiced their care.

"What's happening?"

"What should we do?!"

"Should we call the police?!"

It was the most action anyone on the floor had probably seen. But Rowan neither saw nor heard any of that. Even when someone tried to tap her on the shoulder, she didn't stop moving. You could say she was mad, insane, crazy, stupid, but Rowan was just scared.

So when the door finally opened she sprinted inside, leaving the crowd to their own affairs. "Drew!" She called in a frenzied state. She called once more, and just as she was about to call a third time she heard him. Not him exactly, but shallow gasps and low groans. Sounds of someone in pain, sounds of someone being tortured.

Her feet moved faster than her mind. And they eventually led her to his room. There he was, his hair messed with little glass bits entangled with his chestnut-colored strands. A tall bookcase was tipped over, its upper half collapsed on top of Drew. With the bookcase's contents surrounding him. An autographed basketball, magazines, textbooks, and little trinkets like keychains, photos, and paperweights. Everything was a disaster.

But when Rowan ran over to him in tears and tried to push the bookshelf away; Drew managed to smile between breaths.

"Drew, what happened? What the hell?!" That was all Rowan could say to him as she put all her strength into moving the damned bookshelf.

"Rows, you're bleeding," Drew said, ignoring Rowan's words completely. "I heard wood shatter, did you break down the door? If you did, that'd be fucking amazing." He let out a weak laugh and smiled at the girl.

"What are you saying?! Shut up and try to crawl out damn it!" Her words were forceful, though her tears streamed just as forcefully.

"I can't Rows, something's pinning me in the thigh. It's a piece of wood or something. Damn, it hurts like hell." His words were clear and strong. "Rows, I'm not gonna die am I?"

Everything in Rowan's head was about to tear itself apart. "You're not going to die," she said with no emotion.

"I've been bleeding for too long Rows. How do you know?"

"Shut the fuck up, Drew, you're not going to die." Her voice was steady now like she couldn't be shaken. Because even if what he said might be true, she wouldn't let it be. "How did this even happen?"

"Rows, you're a crazy smart and a crazy strong girl; but this time I think you may be wrong," Drew said calmly. "I was climbing up the shelves, I knew it wasn't safe, but I was looking for a book I put up there a while ago and I just... It hurts. It hurts so much, Rows and it hurts even more when I see you crying."

And just like that, Rowan took a breath and stopped herself from crying. She didn't understand what was happening. But when she heard those words, it was like someone had crushed her lungs.

"N-no," she stuttered. "Stop it, Drew, this isn't funny. I'm okay with being wrong every other time before right now. But right now, don't let me be wrong. Just let me be right one more time." Even though she was still trying to move the bookshelf, and her body didn't want to give up. Her mind was falling apart. Drew saw this. He saw how the brave, best friend he had always had was hurting and it pained him too. It pained him so much, that it made him want to hold her and tell her it's fine, just like when they were younger. It hurt him so much, that everything finally made sense to him.

"Oh shit," Drew whispered. He moved his one, free arm, and lifted it with all his strength. His sight was getting cloudy near the edges and his focus was bouncing from wall to wall, but he finally fucking realized it. He reached his arm to Rowan's face, his hand just barely cupping her left cheek. "I'm an idiot Rows. Why did it take me so long?"

Rowan didn't say anything. She was frozen, her eyes locked onto his. His palm was a little chilly, but she didn't dare flinch.

"What?" Was all she could muster.

His vision was hazy as if a fog was trying to blur his view. But everything in his head just clicked. "When I dated girls I made rules. I would only love them physically. Because I knew having an actual conversation with them would be pointless and uncomfortable. I never knew why exactly I thought that though. But then I realized it was you," Drew said. His grip was weak and his hand fell to her lap limply.

"I knew that finding out more about another girl, and having deep conversations with girls would be pointless because the only girl I wanted to know more about was you. I only wanted to learn your favorite things, what makes you happy, and what you like to do, because... The only person I've wanted to be with is you. I thought you were safe as my best friend because I could never touch you or hurt you. But in the end, I'm an idiot." A strange numbness started to settle into Drew's body.

"Hey Rows, do you know why I'm such an idiot?" He asked with a final smile.

"Don't fucking say it, Drew. If you say it I swear I won't ever forgive you, you fucking asshole," Rowan sobbed. It hurt so much more now that the words she dreamed of were going to be said at a time like this.

"My name is Drew Gabriel Kerrington, and I'm a fucking idiot because I'm in love with you, Rowan Maria Evergreen."

-

a/n: got super emotional i'm sorry 

so sorry 

and sorry for the late update 

and thanks for the support <3

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