forty | hyphema

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February 5th 

Luke squeezed Rowan's hand tightly when he heard the words.

"Hyphema."

He had heard it from so many doctors before, but he was scared when the girl he loved the most heard it. He was confident she wouldn't leave him, but he did not want her to worry about him. He refused to be the guy she agonized over, the guy who made her sad and cry. So the boy just clutched her hand as she was hit with the news.

"It appears that when your face collided with the steering wheel of the car, it caused a hyphema in your eye," Dr. Jenkins informed them. "I'm aware that you have started some treatment plans?"

"Yes," Luke answered. "Night shields in the evening, elevation when I sleep, and..." He put his hand over his eyes, touching the material that covered parts of his face. "Eye patches during the day."

"That's good, these injuries are not common, but also not extremely rare. Usually they can be treated with surgery."

"I went through a laser surgery recently," the blonde boy told her. "But here I am," he laughed sadly.

"That was because your past doctors didn't know what to do." Dr. Jenkins stood up to collect a pamphlet and then handed it to the couple. "'Laser surgery is not the correct answer to a hyphema, it is an approach more commonly used for retinal detachment and other causes for blindness."

"So three of the supposedly best doctors in Australia didn't do shit?" Rowan said in disbelief. The doctor was a bit taken back by the way the girl boldly spoke, but remained composed, as she was a professional.

"I cannot make up excuses for why they could not have approached his treatment better, but I can ensure  you that I will do my best to help your boyfriend," the doctor told her. "Instead we should pursue a different surgery. Since your hyphema is non-resolving, we need to clean out your eye to prevent corneal bleeding and blood staining."

"What are the chances of it working?" Rowan asked.

Dr. Jenkins smiled proudly. "Our facility is one of the best and our history with this type of operation has been very successful." 

"That's amazing," the girl said, brimming with excitement. She hadn't felt such a strong sense of hope in a while and it felt rejuvenating. "Isn't this great, Luke?"

"Yeah, this is great," he said with less enthusiasm than she expected. "I-I just don't know."

"Know what?"

Luke took a deep breath, but said nothing. His lover recognized the look on his face and turned to face the doctor. "Do you mind if we step out to talk?"

"It's no problem," Dr. Jenkins said. "I can wait outside. You two should take your time. Surgery is a delicate matter and it is important that you think it through." Rowan thanked her for her thoughtfulness and the older woman stepped out.

The duo sat next to each other, their fingers still intertwined. "What do you want to do?" Rowan asked softly. "Do you not want this operation?"

"I do, babe," he said. "I want to see again so bad." He released his hands from her grip and touched her face, letting his fingers trace her eyes, nose, cheeks, and lips. "I want to look into your brown eyes. I want to kiss you and not miss your lips. Fuck, I really miss you."

Rowan raised her right hand and gently cupped his face. "I'm here. I'm always gonna be here. Do you trust me, Luke?"

"Yeah. I do, but what if this operation doesn't work? My mum can't afford another one. This would be my last chance."

"And it's going to succeed. It's going to work and you're going to be able to see m-" Rowan paused, taking in the realization that when Luke got his sight back, she would have to leave his life. But she didn't let her thoughts show in her voice, as she was a professional as well. "You're going to be able to see... Everything. And this doctor is the best. I believe in this, Luke. I believe in her and this operation."

"That means so much to me, Riley. But I... I still need time to think about this." Rowan sighed when he told her this, but she understood his decision. This was something only he could decide and he had to do it on his circumstances. "That's why I need to stay here."

"Of course."

"And you need to go back." Rowan's hands fell from Luke's face and his fell from hers.

"What? I'm not leaving you here."

"Please Riley, I need to do this without you. Do you understand?" He sounded pained when he said it, but he also sounded convinced. He was not willing to change his mind on this. He needed to think without his adoring girlfriend there by his side. Rowan saw what he meant and agreed to his orders.

After the doctor came back in and went into more details about what would happen, Rowan got onto the earliest plane back to Sydney. Luke told her she could've stayed a day or two more, but part of her felt betrayed when he told her to go home. She felt like he was pushing her away and she hated it, but unfortunately it was nothing compared to the pain she thought she would feel when he would tell her to leave forever.

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a/n: i have tried my best to research blindness and hyphens and treatments, however i am no expert or anything close and i would greatly appreciate anyone's feedback on how to improve this chapter and future chapters for accuracy

thank you for being so patient with me

<3

(and happy late birthday to the loveliest man alive, happy 22nd birthday to calum thomas hood)

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