Madeline: a Poor, Dirty Canadian

1

   Madeline starts her day by waking up in her run down barn outside of a trailer park. She doesn't have a enough money to buy her own house so she has to inhabit vacant buildings to live in.
   She stares at the noose hanging from her moldy ceiling, pondering whether today's the day she'll actually do the deed. After 2 hours of sipping on a jug of sweet tea, wondering if she should kill herself, she gets up and starts getting ready to visit her beautiful, weed-smelling restaurant: Madeline's Maple and Herb Cooking. Her problematic husband, Matthew, can be heard screeching satanically from down the hallway. Alfried, Matthew's brother, can be seen standing outside, waving a wooden sign with a poorly painted-on word saying, "DIVORCE." She thinks to herself, "I have married a great man. But his brother should go die in a hole," and then continues to dress herself.
   Madeline doesn't get many customers at Madeline's Maple and Herb Cooking anymore due to the void blocking the entrance but Madeline personally thinks that the void is a nice touch.
   Madeline begins to cook her favorite dish, weed brownies, while screeching the lyrics to various Lemonade Mouth songs at the top of her lungs. Madeline's neighbor Dylan yells at the poor, dirty Canadian female, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU NASTY GAY RAT," but Madeline just shakes her head. "SWEAR JAR," Madeline hisses in response to her. Madeline doesn't listen to Dylan's rude comment because she's a free women in a free country and is free to do whatever the heck she wants.
   Suddenly, a man with black hair and an eyepatch leaps gracefully through the door of Madeline's Maple and Herb.
   Madeline winks with both eyes and says, "Who is this delicious hunk of meat that just walked upon my blood-stained doormat?"
    The man with an eyepatch drops to the floor, hugging his knee and squints violently in Madeline's direction.
   "My name is Ciel. Call me Trip though. I swear I'm not a homosexual."