poems + blurbs

and we both know that doesn't turn out very well

i was so scared when you read me. i told you to leave to see if you would do it. i wanted to see you care. and then you left.
you knew my intentions before i did.
i thought i wanted you to leave because you said you could. you're happy now and i don't want to drag you down here with me. im sorry for expecting you to help me when i don't even let you. i don't try. im sorry for being so miserable, so jaded like you said. i told you to leave so that i could see you stay– but you did as i said. i don't think you are hurting.
i'm never going to change.
knowing that, will you ever come back?
should you?
would it be for your own good, or mine? or both?
are you trying to teach me something? i can see it, but it doesn't resonate with me.
i don't let myself learn, and that is why i'm not, and never will be happy.
because i don't allow it.
you know me so well, don't you?
i just let the world destroy me, and i stay that way.
you wouldn't step over a puddle for me– not anymore.
this doesn't feel like february.