Fire and Ice

Twelve: Corey

I avoided Lucinda and Hayden until Thursday when I needed to talk about the dance the next night, although I really didn't want to. The night of the day Lucy proposed her little 'experiment' on me, I didn't sleep, I couldn't sleep. And for once, I got up with no bruises.

Which concerned me that Lucinda's theory was right.

For the rest of the week, like I said, I avoided Lucinda and Hayden. Hayden kept coming up to me, apologising for Saturday and asking "what's up (my) ass". I made up excuses for everything he threw at me. By the time Thursday came around, I was in pain. Not physical pain, rather mental pain. Block exams were around the corner and the dance the next night. I couldn't cope - especially when Mum and Dad were still yelling at me to get out of Hurlston. I couldn't do that.

Even though I had gone for runs throughout the course of the week, Jasper was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't even there at the meeting in the Hall which was beyond inscrutable.

But anyway, Thursday came.

I walked into AP Biology, praying Lucinda wouldn't try talking to me. I had shut her out mentally all week, unable to cope with her thoughts... or mine. As I sat with my head resting on the desk, I felt the presence of someone sitting next me, but it wasn't my lab partner. Its smell was thick and rustic - a bit like how a brand new book smells. I knew that smell, I knew it well. I sat up and turned in my seat, glad to see Max in Lucinda's place.

He offered a sad smile.

"How've you been? You've been off all week, I haven't seen you around, you're not laughing at lunch and not to mention, you look like shit," he said. I shook my head and smiled slightly.

"Been a shit week," I admitted.

"Not sleeping well?" he guessed. I nodded and he let out a whistle. "You know, when I heard girls get all 'worked up' about formals, I didn't realise it had this much of an affect on them."

"It's not the dance," I explained softly. Max's face softened.

"I know... Hayden told me what happened on Saturday in the woods."

I clenched my jaw and hardened my eyes, my nostrils flaring. "You're kidding?"

He shook his head apologetically. "What you did was fair. He shouldn't have jumped on you like that, he should know better."

"I can't..." I let out a hard sigh. "Shit's happening and I can't even cope, Max."

"Hey, I'm here. And, anyway, I've told Hayden he's going with Lucy and I'm going with you. I don't need you killing him on the dance floor in the middle of the waltz," Max told me with a smirk. I let out a breathy laugh myself.

"I'd like that, thanks Max."

So, Biology wasn't all that bad... but then lunch rolled around. I headed to the library, keen to get some study in (not the sarcasm), but was stopped abruptly by a running and screaming Lucinda.

"Corey-Corey-Corey-Corey-Corey!"

I blinked and stared at her.

"Hey!" she beamed. I stared at her with an unimpressed expression. "Come on, I've got to talk to you about tomorrow night." Lucinda grabbed my arm and attempted to drag me in but I ripped my arm away. She gave me a weary look. "What's wrong? You look like shit."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past her.

Corey... she tried.

I turned around and snapped, "Will you fuck off?" At this point, we had caught the whole hall's attention. I didn't care.

"What have I done?" she hushed. I scoffed.

"What have you done?" I asked rhetorically. "Let's start by playing mind games with me, not telling me you're crushing on my best friend and lastly, the reason I'm 'looking like shit' is because of you."

Lucinda looked around scarcely, I could tell she was scared.

Good.

"Can we take this somewhere else?" she hissed in a whisper.

I shook my head and stepped backwards, readying to turn on my heel. "See you tomorrow night, Lucinda." I probably spat out her name a little more harshly than I should have, but she deserved it. I felt tears prick my eyes as I sped into the library, deliberately sitting in the sun so Lucinda couldn't come anywhere near me. I also made sure to block her out mentally.

"Corey, what happened?" a voice asked. I looked up and saw Hayden.

Great.

"You can fuck off too," I told him sternly.

"Corey, how many times do I have to tell you: I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry," he pleaded. I shook my head.

"Just get lost Hayden. I'll see you at the dance tomorrow," I murmured.

"Corey," his voice was strained. I shook my head, slammed my hands on the desk and stood up, looking him dead in the eye. Once again, I had caught people's attention.

"Hayden, look, I need you to just walk away and not look back. Things are shit at home and being with you isn't helping. Being with Lucinda isn't helping either. Now, please, fuck off before I snap," I said to him quietly.

"Corey, I just want to help you. You're never like this," he pleaded once again.

"You can't help me, that's the thing. Now fuck off before I make you." I stared long and hard into his eyes until he sighed in submission and looked away.

"See you tomorrow night," he whispered. He sounded broken. Hayden turned away and ran both hands through his hair, gripping it and almost pulling it out. Once he was out of my sights, I sat down, rested my elbows on the table and my head in my hands. I clenched my jaw and began to cry.

Why am I like this? Hayden's right... I'm never like this.

Jasper isn't either, Lucinda's voice came through. I frowned and screwed my eyes shut.

I told you to fuck off. Now fuck off, I snapped back, but the sound of Jasper's name lingered in my mind.

                      "I'm going to hurt you."

Fuck.