I Never Had a Choice

Chapter 34- Masquerade Ball

The thing about balls where you can't know anybody, is you feel alone, yet powerful all at the same time. You feel powerful because you can be yourself, and nobody would guess it was you because of all the masks you've always worn. But you feel alone because when the heartbreak hits, you have no one to turn to..

I know everyone says that grief has five stages, I believe there are only two.

Stage one is numb. You don't want to believe that it's happening. You distract yourself with partying and friends. You drink alcohol until you can't remember your name, dance under lights with someone you just met, and put more holes in your body. Then you wake up in the morning with an earthquake in your head, and a strange metal hoop in your lip. All you want to do is fill this empty feeling.

Stage two is when the emotions hit. You lay in bed for days, maybe weeks. You cry so much your face is naturally puffy and red now. You can't even begin to think about going out. The breakdowns begin to hit. You walk into your room and scream and cry until your voice cracks under the stress. You throw things until they break and punch the walls until you're a mess of drywall and blood.

The sad part is, does anyone really know which is worse?

The Great Hall really does look great. There are multicolored lights everywhere. Blue, red, green, yellow, and silver. The tables are adorned with tablecloths that are spilt into quarters, each quarter is a different house color. There's a live band that Granger picked out along with a DJ.

I sit in the corner and observe everyone from under my mask. It's fun to watch all the couples trying to search out their dates. The spells on the room make it so you can't recognize anyone. The masks are just an added bonus. The only people who can recognize anyone are teachers, for obvious purposes.

Suddenly, I see a girl walking towards me, and I have an internal argument on how I should act. Should I be my normal, arrogant self, or my quiet polite self?

"Hello there," the girl says.

I look up into her beautiful brown eyes and stand up, "Hi, how're you?"

She flashes me a beautiful smile, "I am doing just fine. And you?"

"Well, y'know, just watching people. So pretty good I suppose."

"Not much for dancing, are we?" She jesters.

I shrug, "Not much. I did when I was a bit younger. But not so much anymore."

"I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was a child. Anymore, I just want to make it though school," she chuckles.

I watch her as she laughs and brushes her beautiful hair over her shoulders. I'm completely mesmerized by this girl in front of me, and I can't even see her face.

I bow slightly and take her hand, "Would you by chance like to have a dance with me?"

"Well, I came over here to watch people with you, but I suppose I'll settle for a dance," she jokes with a wink.

I take her hand and lead her to the dance floor right as a new song starts to play. The band has taken a break, so the DJ started with a slower song. I've never heard it before, but I automatically like it.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now."

I set one hand on her hip as she sets one of hers on my shoulder. Her left hand is in my right, and I can't help but notice how at home I feel in her arms as we dance to the music.