Me And My..

The State Of Confusion..

In the silence of the moon light,
I sit there, staring at the stars in the  endless sky,
Watching.. Maybe for some answers..,
Or maybe just watch them twinkle.

Struggling to move through the crowd of my own thoughts,
Or maybe just to give up and Stop!?
The noise kills the silence of my mind,
The cool breeze on my skin,
The warmth of the moon.. In my heart
Just!!. Seems meaningless,
Without internal peace.

I keep fighting, with i dont know what,
But it always seems to win.
Its triumph is my cowardness,
Or just my laziness?

I am broken into pieces,
I dont know few or countless,
Want to stick all of them together..,
Or maybe...
Want someone else to stick them for me?

I dont know what havoc my mind is in,
Or maybe...
I am letting my mind to breakdown?

I dont have the answers as questions dont seem to form words...
I am wasted i think,
Or maybe just in a state of confusion...

I feel useless sometimes,
Siting still... Unproductive
Or maybe.. Destructive?
Feel like flowing my tears out,
But they seem meaningless.

Its like i am sitting still,
in the dark, staring at my silhouette,
Staring at me..
Just blank and dark as me..
Shapeless!!

I want to ignite that fire within me....
But, i am unable to,
Inspirational words...
Just seem to cling,
On the edge of my ears...
And dissappear,
leaving not a scratch on my mind.

I'm still sitting under the dark sky,
Reaching out for something unknown,
Or maybe for something that does not exist!

Excuses are just a lie,
others make for me.
To make me feel good?
I dont know..
Are they really just making me weak?

The chaos in my mind is meaningless,
But disturbing.
I have lost myself somewhere,
Or maybe i am in a state of confusion?

The answers are within me,
But i am too tired to look for them.
Maybe, only because
i havent found the questions yet.
What i think is that
I have adapted giving up in the change
Or am i really in a confused state?
But i now feel,
I have started to like it this way.