Him. {Scomiche}

12

"It's perfect."

Scott was beaming as I tugged at the hem of the ridiculously soft, snow white sweater. This had to be at least outfit #20 and I could have cared less if I was wearing a trash bag if I could just stop changing clothes. I was tired, and Scott's high energy was fueling my anxiety over the entire thing.

"I like it." As soon as my doctor's appointment was over, I had been whisked away on a search for the 'perfect outfit'. I'd since been drowning in a sea of vicuña wool and cashmere ever since. There was quite a bit of arguing over him buying me more things, but it turned out there was a dress code for this event and I knew Scott just wanted to do everything he could to keep me from embarrassing him in front of his friends.

"You look amazing. Now we just need to find you the perfect shoes and coat and maybe a scarf and we'll be golden."

I forced a smile before I made my way back into the dressing room to take off the layers of designer clothing. I just wanted to crawl back into my perfect bed and cuddle with Arty or huddle up on the couch with Scott and the giant beast and watch something on Netflix while Scott talked over every other scene.

It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the attention, and playing dress up was okay the first couple of times, but the truth was, I just really didn't want to go to the party. You would think that as a person who had spent the majority of their life being unwanted, that I'd have been used to it, but there were higher stakes on this party than I'd initially admitted to myself. Scott had gone out on a limb to argue and risk angering his best friend to get me a place on the guest list. It was crystal clear what she thought of me, and she had good reason to feel that way. But if I messed up in front of her or any of his other friends... it would hurt him and I couldn't do that. He'd already given me so much, I could deal with being nervous and uncomfortable for one day... for him.

I was thankful when I had time to nap for a couple of hours after the shopping blitz, but it felt like no time had passed when Scott woke me to start getting ready. I had never heard of hairstylists making house calls, but I found myself in Scott's gigantic bathroom as a gorgeous man cut & styled my hair and  groomed my eyebrows.

Scott was beautiful in his beige sweater and white pants, looking more like a model on a billboard than the business man I knew him to be. I barely even recognized my own reflection next to his as I looked in the bathroom mirror.

"You look amazing." He slid a hand to squeeze my shoulder, the tip of one finger sliding just past the edge of my collar to rest against skin. I smiled at his reflection, unsure of what to say.  I'd been aware that something was changing between us, but I wasn't sure if it was just a change in my own feelings or if the shift could be felt by the man at my side as well.  

It was hard to decipher when my emotions were so muddled.

I suppose I should have felt safer than ever. I had a place to stay for as long as I wanted. We had a plan, steps to help me gain some independence, and yet... I felt like the world was spinning out of control beneath my feet.  My own thoughts my own worst enemy.

"Hey.." His voice softened as he turned me by the shoulders to face him. He was learning to see through any act I tried to put on for him, and it left me increasingly vulnerable. "If you really don't want to go, we don't have to."

"No, no.. it's fine. I'm just nervous." I had no idea what would happen when faced with his friends. I had to accept that they would almost certainly not approve of me or Scott's choice to associate with me. Maybe one or all of them would finally manage to convince him he was making a mistake by letting me anywhere near him. It's not as if I would have been able to argue that point, not when my own heart still believed the same, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.