8: The Downward Spiral

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I bought some flowers from a Muggle shop with the few pounds I had and I headed to the cemetery.

SIRIUS BLACK
NOV. 15TH 1959
JUN. 18TH 1996
BELOVED FATHER

Sirius never actually married my mother. I was surprised he had a gravestone at all. He was an escaped convict and his body was never found.

I put the flowers at the gravestone and sat down.

'Why did you have to leave me? I only just got to know you, then you got reckless again and I lost you... For good, this time... I miss you like hell, dad. Especially now, when I need you most. Please, just one last miracle... Don't be dead... Just for me...' I felt the tears roll down my face, 'Dammit... You never know how much you need something until it's gone...' I stood up and smiled, 'I'd better go and see Tonks. I think she's in a worse state than I am, which is saying something. She thinks this is all her fault and, to top it all off, your best friend thinks she is too good for him and is blocking her out. Goodbye, dad.'

I got to Tonks' house soon after. I knocked on the door and she eventually opened it. Her hair was a mousy brown colour and she looked ill.

'Merry Christmas!' I smiled.

'Hey, Molly,' she smiled, 'Come on in.'

'How're you doing?' I asked her, sitting down. She was spending Christmas alone.

'Not great...' she sighed.

'It wasn't your fault!' I told her, 'If anything, it was mine. I was the only one who wasn't busy with another Death Eater. I could've raised my wand and done something... Also, ignore Remus. He's a prat who thinks too lowly of himself. He'll come around. Josh and I will persuade him, don't worry.'

'Thanks,' she smiled, 'How are you holding up?'

'Alright, I suppose... Josh has been there supporting me the whole time. I'm going to his later! Making my way around the world!' I grinned.

'You're trying to make the best of a really dark situation...' she smiled at me, 'And you're managing.'

'Hey, I try my best!' I grinned. Little did she know how fake it was.

'How is Remus?' she asked.

'Not great... His best friend just died and he feels really bad about hurting you, but he feels he can't apologise in case he gives you false hope. Basically, he's being a bit blind although he means well,' her hair and face lightened slightly.

'Thank you...' she said.

'No problem, but I should probably get going. Merry Christmas! Here,' I handed her a present, 'Just remember, it's not your fault and it never will be.'

With that, she waved me off as I hopped on my broom and made my way to Josh's house.


Soon enough, I was outside Josh's house. I rang the doorbell and a small boy answered it.

'Who are you?' he asked, his eyes narrowing.

'Molly Black,' I told him.

'I'm Drew, Josh's brother!' he held out his hand, grinning.

He led me inside and yelled Josh down.

'Hey! Come on up,' Josh led me to his room.

'Nice house!' I grinned.

'Thanks! My parents both work at the Ministry, so we managed to get a nice house away from everyone else,' he grinned, 'My dad was Gryffindor and my mum was Ravenclaw!'

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