Was I really going to ask him now? Ok. It's better to get it out of the way.
"Phil!" I stumbled through the door, "It may not be the right time but..."
"But what?" He smiled, hopefully he hadn't forgotten about it,
"Last night," I began "You said I was your..." Surely he knew what I was on about
"My best friend Dan, I couldn't live without you" He smiled. I loved his smile. For goodness sake! Don't you remember? You don't like Phil like that! "Yeah I don't" I realised that I had said that aloud, "I'm sorry I was talking to myself..." I turned around sheepishly
"What do you mean you don't?" He asked, shock took over his face
"I honestly don't know, I guess I was telling myself that you didn't love me and I didn't love you" I turned red. I did like him, but he didn't like me back
"I do love you Dan" He mumbled, at first I couldn't understand but then I grasped it,
"Well I don't! Im sorry I just..." Before I knew it I was running out, tears streaming down my face.
"Why can't I just GO!" I squealed "I don't belong here. I need to end it!" I rummaged through my draws looking for a sharp object. This is it. This is how I am leaving the world. Am I actually leaving because I don't want to be gay? How homophobic does that sound? Urgh! I put the pen-knife back into the draw, knowing it was there if I needed it. I was going to need it, I just needed time to plan it.
