New Year's Eve

7

New Year's Eve 2009

Age: 19

My car chugged to a halt outside the function room. I found an appropriate space and parked my car. Heaving a deep breath, I locked my car and walked up the stairs to the function room above the pub downstairs.

I hadn't been back to the pub — or even the town — for just under a year. Once I left in February to go to Scotland, I never looked back. I had to get away from the town and from the lingering memories that haunted me every day.

After I pushed open the door, I scanned the area, searching for my parents. I was also keeping my eye out for someone else. Someone I also hadn't seen in just under a year. Someone I wasn't quite ready to see yet. I sighed with relief as he didn't show up on my first scan of the room. I selfishly hoped that he would be somewhere else, celebrating the New Year instead of here. Maybe he couldn't bear to be in the room that held so many wonderful memories. So many bad ones too now, thanks to me...

"Scarlett!" A feminine voice called my name. I turned my head to the sound and spotted my mum shuffling her way towards me. She wasn't the fastest of people anyway, but now, with the added age, she was even slower.

When she finally got to me, she threw her arms around me and consumed me in a bone-crushing hug. A few years ago, I would have thrown her arms off me, claiming she was embarrassing, but now I didn't care. I welcomed the comfort and the warmth that my mother's arms held. As I stood there, I allowed myself to feel twelve again.

I missed my mum so much.

"I had no idea you were coming!" Mum exclaimed as she released me from the hug. Her hands went straight to my cheeks as she inspected my face. It was as if she was committing every freckle on my face to memory and probably checking to see if I looked healthy since I had been fending for myself since February. "When you said you weren't coming home for Christmas, I assumed you would stay in Scotland for the New Year as well."

"I was going to," I told her. "But I was homesick. I needed my mum."

Mum's eyes grew watery as she heard my words. She let out a comforting sound as she pulled me into another of her bone-crushing hugs.

When I said that I hadn't been back home for almost a year, I meant it. I couldn't bring myself to come home and risk seeing him. Not even for Christmas. My parents understood, but I didn't think they were too happy about it.

The truth was, I wasn't going to come home at all. That was until my roommate decided she would have a dorm party and then proceeded to only invite couples. I'm sure she didn't notice. But I couldn't help but feel left out when everyone turned up at 3:00 in the afternoon to help set up. At first, it was fine, but then they all sat with their boyfriends or girlfriends... And I sat there, with a giant bowl of crisps. The fact that this would be the first New Year's Eve that I would spend alone and away from my family haunted me. It would also be the first New Year's Eve without him. I had spent New Year's Eve with him for the past six years and it felt weird to be away from tradition.

It was then that I decided I would take the four-hour drive back home to Manchester and back to my family.

But I would not tell my mum the real reason.

Mum and I talked for a little while longer and Dad soon joined in, offering his greetings. Frank and Mia also came over and conducted a conversation with me. I must admit that it was a little awkward — for me, especially. But we all soon relaxed and fell into normal conversation. Mia pulled me to one side during the night and explained that she and Frank understood why I did what I did. I still beat myself up for breaking his heart. It annoyed me every day. But it pleased me I hadn't permanently damaged my relationship with Frank and Mia.