Broken

Chapter 5

I wake up upon hearing a low raspy sound coming from the side of my bed. The room is cold, and when I look around I see the small window is still open. I raise up from my position, leaning my weight on my elbows. Where am I? I don't recognize the pale walls or the uncomfortble bed. And who the hell is the blonde woman sleeping - and snoring - in the chair beside me.

That's when I remember. The room is my room at Lockwood Youth Residence. The snoring woman in the chair is AdaLynn, my so called guardian. I'm not at home in my own comfortable bed in Raven, I'm in some shit town in the United freaking Kingdom. I let out a irritated grown and throw myself back on the bed again. The memories from yesterday slowly crawl into my head, making my cheeks tingle in red. That must be the reason AdaLynn slept in here last night. 

I grab my phone from the bedside table. 7:30 am, monday. Half an hour until breakfast. I hear my stomach growl loudly at the thought of food. I passed out before dinner was served, and I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Another urge fill my mind and I walk up to the window, grabbing my white and red package from the desk on the way. AdaLynn must have put it there together with the small pink ashtray and the perfectly put pile of papers. The papers that I had dropped to the floor in my desperate and unsuccessful attempt at calming myself down. I had a panicattack last night, and it makes me wanna throw up just thinking about it. 

I light the cigarette and carfully blow the smoke out the window, making sure not to wake Addie in that way. It's still pretty dark outside and the cool air coming in through the window cause goosebumps to rise on the exposed skin of my arms. I'm still dressed in the same clothes as I put on yesterday, my skinny jeans feeling stiff against my legs. Relief wash over me as I confirm to myself that no one tried to undress me while I was unconscious, not that I thought someone here would try to rape me but it would be embarrising with someone trying to dress me in that state.

I put the ciggarette out and walk over to the wardrobe, grabbing a pair of black leggings and a blue oversized sweater. After taking a quick shower I brush my hair and change inside the tiny bathroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror, big green eyes looking back at me. My skin look even more pale than usual and my hazel brown hair is in irregular messy curls, also one of the many side effects of passing out. I don't even notice the tears trailing down my cheeks before one of them falls onto the top of my hand resting on the sink. 

Suddenly the door opens and AdaLynn walks in. She looks sleepy, her blonde hair a bit messy, but when she sees me her eyes lights up. A concerned look covering her beautiful features as she pull me into a hug. First I just stand there with my arms at my sides but then I wrap my arms around her body and cry even more in her tight hold. She pats my hair and press a small peck on the top of my forehead. The action bring memories from my childhood to my mind. 

Me scratching my knee and my mother pulling me into her warm embrace, whispering that everything will be fine. Then me a few years later, spraining my ankle and being forced to walk all the way over to my grandma's house instead of her driving me to the hospital. I remember her actions hurting more than the injury it's self. 

"I was so worried about you." Addie's voice bring me back from my painful childhood memories. "You just kept on screaming and screaming and I-I didn't know w-what to do." She breaks away from me, holding me on arms length, and looks into my eyes, tears streaming down her face. She even looked gorgeous while crying. Her lips is painted in the same red lipstick as the day before and her cheeks tingle in a slight pink colour. 

"How are you, Jackie?" She asks, and for the first time in a while I feel like the person asking really did care about the answer. Not like all the stupid therapists and psychologists I've met the past six months. I feel a happiness filling me, knowing how lucky I am to have her as my guardian or supervisor or whatever. 

"I'm fine now." I answer. "Thank you, Addie."

She smiles at me, wiping her cheeks before stroking my wet ones with her thumb. 

"Of course, love. Now let's go get us both something to eat, I'm starving!"

-

A.N

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