"It's Not Love If It Hurts" //5sos

/133/

  "Do you hate it?" Annie mumbled, stirring her soup half heartedly. "I hate it."

  Calum looked up, trying to judge the situation. They sat cross-legged on the floor, eating their dinner at the coffee table like always. Annie had been out of it all day, but she seemed to be coming back to earth a bit now.

  "Hate what?" He asked carefully.

  "That I'm this way," she said, looking out the window. It was snowing, but it wasn't cold enough to stick. "That this happened."

  "I hate that it happened," he agreed. "But I'm glad that you're getting better."

  "But I'm not." She argued quickly, before pausing and looking at her feet. Annie breathed in shallowly, her lower lip trembling. "I just keep getting worse and worse, and I can't explain why."

  Calum set his soup spoon in the bowl, not sure what to say. What do you say to something like that? And it was Annie. He couldn't just say "sucks". Calum wanted to give advice, or tell her something helpful, but he didn't know what to say.

  Annie didn't know what to say either. She wanted to be okay. She really did- she went through all the steps, she threatened Michael, she was good for what felt like a long time- and now what? She was back in this weird mixture of boredom and discomfort, feeling like she was starving but didn't want to eat. She wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to pin Calum up against the way and kiss him with so much passion her entire body would shake with exhilaration.

  But instead she sat cross-legged on the floor, staring glumly at her bowl of soup.

  "Will I ever get better?" Annie asked retorically.

  She didn't expect an answer; she thought it was obvious. How could she ever recover? How could anyone ever recover from something like this?

  "Yes," Calum said, all of a sudden his voice firm. Annie looked up, wondering if she heard him right. "Yes, you're going to get better. You didn't do all that recovering for nothing."

  How could Calum be so gullible? "It's not that easy. I can't just decide to get better."

  He raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

  Annie wanted to say so many things the words just got caught in her throat. "I don't know," she admitted. "But I've spent the last few months trying to get better. And it still hasn't worked."

  "It worked for a little while," Calum replied, treading lightly. "What did you do to get better then?"

  What did you do to get better then? What did you do to get better then? Annie had... she had...

  "I remember the first day I knew for sure that you would be alright," he spoke, a small smile on his face at the memory. "You told me that it wasn't your fault that you almost killed me with a lamp. Then we screamed at each other and made out."

  The memory even made Annie smile. "I never did apologize for attacking you with that lamp."

  "I don't think you did," Calum chuckled. "It's fine. It was implied."

  Annie smiled at the floor, feeling like her lungs were filling and deflating with smoke. "I'm sorry for attacking you with that lamp."

  He laughed, actually laughed. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry for calling you names, when we lived with the boys."

  Toy. The word still stung. "I forgive you. Sorry for attacking you with a knife that one time."

  Calum shook his head, smirking lightly. "Nope. You already apologized for that- it doesn't count."

  Annie crossed her arms stubbornly. "Then I'm sorry that I... that I..."

  "Ha! You can't think of anything, I win." Calum stood up, stepping over the table and settling down next to Annie on the floor.

  Her nose was scrunched up in concentration, trying to think of a good one. "I almost hit you with that pan! Remember, at the boys house? You were peeling off some duct tape and I thought I was having that dream again, so I almost attacked you with the mac and cheese pan!" She laughed at the memory.

  Calum laughed too. "I didn't hear a sorry," he teased.

  "Oh, I'm not going to apologize for that," Annie defended, grinning from ear to ear. "My fear was completely validated."

  "Why you-" Calum tackled her, tickling get sides as Annie laughed brathlessly, yelling out empty threats.

  "I hate you!" She called out, the words completely without truth.

  Then Calum kissed her. Her smile fading as she completely sunk into the kiss.

  Calum was the first to pull away, both of them catching their breath. "I love you," he mumbled.

  "Kiss me again," Annie whispered.

  And he did.
 
A/N: Please comment your thoughts on this book, whether it's 'it's a nice read' or 'LET ME TELL YOU JUST WHY I LOVE THIS'. Please, I'm going through a little funk and it would be so great if you could tell me what you think.