snowflakes and blizzards

drunk.

perhaps tonight,

i'd have the strength and courage

to hear your voice,

the voice that i once held onto

as if it were a lifeline;

perhaps tonight,

when my blood turns into alcohol,

the gnawing ache in my chest

would finally lessen;

perhaps only when the

alcohol has all control over

the empty shell of a person

i've become,

thinking of you would no longer

be inviting my own

death;

for i wish i had not seen the

good in you,

because it was you who tore

the fabric of my being apart,

and it was you that

drained every last remnant

of light and hope from

within my soul,

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT,

WHY DID I ALLOW YOU TO BECOME

THE DRUG THAT WAS MY

ULTIMATE ADDICTION,

WHY DID I WILL MY

STUPID HEART TO BEAT

IN THE RHYTHMN OF YOUR VOICE,

AT THE FUCKING SYLLABLES OF YOUR

NAME,

and after letting myself

drown in the thoughts

of you,

you,

and only you,

i feel that my love for you

was an affliction i brought

upon myself,

and perhaps it has been

written in the damned stars

that i let you stomp

all over my heart,

to break me into nothingness,

to kill me-

and have agony course

through my veins;

and after everything,

wouldn't it have been better for me

to have gotten drunk off alcohol

instead of your intoxicating love,

because with alcohol,

you're warned of eventual death

and with you,

i had prayed for a life,

if only i hadn't been so foolish

and willed myself to see

that you

were death in human form,

and i had rushed into your arms,

and spent countless nights

getting drunk off

your lies and empty promises.